I forgot it was a short week, until Beano sent me a little reminder. It was a handwritten letter – Beano doesn’t type – which made it a little hard to read. But apparently he is very excited that USC will again be featured on national prime time television for a game that promises to require many shots of the sideline in order to keep viewers entertained during the second half.
Here’s what I could decipher from Beano's note:
Dear Mr. Displaced Trojan,
May I remind you that your Trojans of USC are scheduled to play a football game against the Oregon State Beavers on ESPN tomorrow night? As tomorrow is Thursday, I am very excited to know that the Song Girls will be in attendance. I’m hoping for a blowout, which would ensure maximum sideline coverage. You know, I live for this stuff, so I’m hoping you will post some good stuff, if you understand my meaning.
Sincerely,
Your Friend Beano
So, there you have it. Thursday night. USC Football with all the trimmings. Have fun with it, Beano.
This is a great week. Not only is USC at the center of the college football universe leading into our “biggest game of the season,” but people are saying stupid stuff all over the nation, which of course I find inspiring.
Sure, we’ve already seen some really stupid stuff before this week, but you tend to appreciate it more when the stupid stuff comes from a hated, albeit respected enemy.
Again, we’ve been away for a while, so I’ll clarify the Displaced take … USC has two primary enemies: Notre Dame, which is hated but deserves a level of respect, and ucla, which is hated and deserves no respect, at all. But I digress …
Not only is Charlie Weis (above) still struggling to figure out this head coaching thing, he remains clueless about how to keep his foot out of his mouth. It’s bad enough that his reputation as an offensive genius is turning out to be merely offensive to Domer fans, but his messed up sense of humor is dragging the Domers down further.
The AP serves up the backstory and the ensuing stupidity:
[Weis] was talking about his expectations for this season, saying his team would make a statement in its opening game against San Diego State.
"Then we'll listen to Michigan have all their excuses as they come running in and saying how they have a new coaching staff and there's changes. To hell with Michigan.” …
Weis said he knew his comment would come up this week. ...
"Anyone who is a Michigan fan should know and understand that that comment pays respect to Bo and his mentality versus when playing an opponent," he said. "So take it for what it's worth. But I think that's a very respectful comment toward Coach Bo's 'To hell with Notre Dame.'"
Actually, anyone who is a college coach should know that Michigan’s players (who weren’t more than four years old when Schembechler retired after the 1990 Rose Bowl) couldn’t care less about the Crew Cut’s historical tribute. “To hell with Michigan!” That’s all they’ll hear.
So, I have to ask: How can this stupid stuff continue to happen after more than three years? I ask only because I want USC’s wins over the Domers to mean something again. We can’t have our storied rivalry be tarnished like this by a loud mouth who does so little (three wins) with so much talent.
Anyway, I can’t wait until Saturday, and I’m hoping against all hope that Beanie Wells will play. We want no excuses.
Speaking of Beanies, I got a note from Beano this week. He said he noticed that we were posting here again and that Thursdays weren’t the same for him while we were out.
I apologized for the long break and said, “Well, Beano ... We’re Back!”
Beano’s response? “That’s awesome. To hell with Scott Wolf!”
WeAreSC.com does a nice job conducting what it calls “exit interviews” with outgoing senior football players. I like reading them because they help fill time between Signing Day and Spring Football, while also confirming that current student-athletes are learning what it means to be part of the Trojan Family.
However ... WeAreSC took a detour yesterday to interview (so to speak) Natalie Nelson about her thoughts (so to speak) regarding her career as a USC Song Girl. It was titled: “Exit Interview: Natalie.”
Of course, Beano read the article and cried. Me? I just about fell asleep.
No disrespect to the interviewer David Chung, but this is the fluffiest fluff piece that has ever been fluffed. In fact, the piece is so fluffy that Chung never mentions Nelson’s last name, as if she’s some sort of character in a reality TV show.
Not that we should expect much in the way of hard hitting issues here, but Chung could have asked Nelson at least a few questions that incorporate the words "bad timing” or “wedgy” ... just to keep things interesting.
After all, Nelson has been the quintessential (if not stereotypical) USC Song Girl for the last couple of years. She’s been a co-captain of the squad. She dated a captain of the football team, linebacker Dallas Sartz. She’s the daughter of Song Girl coach Lori Nelson. She's performed through injuries. She was on the cover of Los Angeles Magazine (left), and she’s posed toward the center of most Song Girl group photos, because -- let’s be honest -- she’s a strikingly beautiful blond who looks great in a Song Girl sweater and skirt.
However ... she is also responsible for this, ...
... and she is the inspiration for this ...
... and this, ...
... which subsequently led to these, ...
... the production of this, ...
... and the over-exposure (so to speak) of this ...
Not to mention her attendance in Senora Ross’s “Spanish III” class.
Yes, we know Nelson isn’t directly responsible for the “wedgy,” but she certainly set the precedent for the college football blogger geek frenzy that resulted from it.
Of course, we’re not complaining about this stuff. We always laugh with the Song Girls, not at them. So, again, you’d think Chung could ask at least one question that doesn’t read like a double pompom over the head waving thing (so to speak).
Instead, to her credit, Nelson mentioned her “bad timing” in response to Chung’s 31st fluffy question. This created the only part of the Q&A worth reading:
WEARESC: What are the toughest parts of being a Song Girl and what will you take out of it after you leave USC?
NN: One of the toughest things was definitely the Photoshopping. It was hard to see myself that way because none of the referees hands are up and I’m just there trying to get the crowd pumped up because everyone in the stands was nervous we were going to lose because they were right in front of us. What’s disappointing for me is that I really know football, maybe even more than anyone on the squad. I’ve grown up around football and I know the sport. It was hard because I know the sport and the picture was just taken at the wrong place, wrong time, and then Photoshopped.
“Photoshopped.” It almost makes you feel sorry for Nelson, if not for her other answers about focusing on a modeling career, doing charity work -- and anything else she might have said before I fell asleep -- all of which tells us that she’ll never have to hold down a real job … ever.
“Such is the life” (as Nestor puts it) of a infamous USC Song Girl. Just another thing to make the jealous “nation” more jealous … and bring Beano to tears.
So, it’s Thursday, and while Beano may be expecting the usual twirl, today we’re going pro. Turns out Sports Illustrated paid a visit to USC recently to take a few photos of the Trojan Marching Band for SI’s 2007 Swimsuit Issue.
Who's to say why the photo editors at SI decided to combine skinny (albeit beautiful, bikini-clad) women with geeky (albeit lucky as hell) USC Band members … on FieldTurf, no less.
Word out here near Bristol, Conn., is that ESPN.com wasn’t about to have a CBS-affiliated SEC school named No. 1 in recruiting yesterday … at least not without a fight.
So, the World Wide Leader -- perhaps with help from Beano Cook -- stacked the deck for its favorite ABC/ESPN-affiliated Pac-10 school (aka conference TV ratings darling USC Football), conveniently placing Trojan signees Joe McKnight, Chris Galippo and Mark Tyler at the very top of its ESPN 150 player ranking.
The result? Yet another top recruiting class secured for our man Pete Carroll. Of course, as we anticipated yesterday, Rivals and Scout have USC’s 2007 class ranked No. 2 and No. 3, respectively. But who are we to argue with the World Wide Leader?
As we concluded yesterday, none of us really know what the hell happened when USC's top-ranked basketball recruit O.J. Mayo was ejected from a high school game last Friday night.
But now we have video -- worthy of another Zapruder film reference -- which brings into question the "thug" label being placed on Mayo by those who are supposed to know their hoops.
Take a good look at the clip, from WSAZ Channel 3, the local Huntington, W.Va., TV news station.
Do you see Mayo taunting and jawing excessively with the opposing team and their fans? And, how in the world does a grown man fall to the ground as a result of the supposed contact Mayo made with the ref?
Judging from what we see in this clip -- and again, we don't know what was said or what else happened at this game -- it appears that Mayo may have a right to be upset about the double-technical called on him. In fact, one might conclude from this video that Mayo showed restraint, given all that was going on around him, and that perhaps he deserves the benefit of some doubt.
Make no mistake. The the opinion here remains that Mayo could be coming to USC for the wrong reasons, but perhaps everyone should step back and see this kid first-hand, in action on and off the court, before we fully form our conclusions.
In the meantime, we've got this highlight clip of the game in question, which shows us what all the on-court hype is about.
I guess they don't play much defense in West Virginia.
If you’ve ever had the misfortune of sitting too close to the ugla alumni section during a bruin football game, you’ve seen him. His name is Geoff Strand, and he’s an idiot.
Strand is the annoying guy (if you can call him a guy) dressed like an ugla clown, commanding the bruin alumni (“every man, woman and child”) to cheer on his cue, as if ugla grads are too stupid to know when to make noise for their team. I’m certainly willing to give bruin alums more credit than that, I suppose.
As for the fact that Strand is a fool, the evidence is irrefutable:
The funny thing is this video was posted on the “nation” in reaction to a post by Orson at EDSBS, who used Strand as evidence that ugla fans are apathetic Republicans … or did he really mean Nationalists? I’m not sure what to make of Orson’s point, but the comments it spurred are hilarious (and telling), and the cannibalistic thread that followed the “nation” post illustrates the nature of the ugla fan. Rather than defend their man Strand, the bruins give us this:
If I didn't go to UCLA or was not a Bruin football fan, I'd be clowning that freakinsh show too.
And I would also hurl all kinds of insults.
This is just pathetic. I can see some arguments about having a juggler as part of the band show. But this dude is just a clown. He doesn't belong in a college football game.
Go Bruins!
Never mind the comedic value of comparing a “freakinsh show” to a “juggler” at your own college football game, the irony in this post by “bluestreet” is classic. He says his bruiness prevents him from insulting and making fun of Strand, and yet that’s exactly what he does.
Anyway, “MIMBruin” led off the comments with this:
Do we need some new blood? Abso-freakin-lutely. Student yell leaders of recent years haven't been all that creative or distinctive in their style. I think the last good shtick I saw was the crew that brought a toilet lid with the words "FLUSH 'EM!" or "FLUSH IT!" to spur the crowd onto noise.
Hmmm … I don’t know about you, but toilet humor never got me to cheer at a college football game. Then again, I didn’t attend ugla. Someone else who presumably did is “razksig,” who restored my understanding that at least a few people with brains call themselves bruin fans.
Strand bugs the hell out of me I just think that the crowd is somewhat apathetic anyway, but having a guy up there saying "don't cheer now, wait till I say to cheer" is so bush league. Fans should be on their feet screaming the entire time our defense is on the field, not just after the opposing team's offense breaks its huddle. Football is one sport in which the home crowd can have the greatest effect on the outcome of a game, and this geriatric clown is one thing holding back an already tame crowd. […] I hardly remember Strand leading our section during the SUC game, which was not the case for every other home game I attended. I appreciate his intentions, but he is terrible.
“Bush league” … “terrible” … that’s a good way to put it. But “bluestreet” was even more to the point in his second go around.
[Strand] is a nice guy and all. I am sure he is a good guy.
But he dresses like a freak. He looks creepy along the sidelines. Frankly I think its kind of embarrassing.
He should limit his little routine to alumni gatherings. But even then, his routine is just silly and embarrassing.
“Freak” … “creepy” … “silly” … “embarrassing” … LOL. Of course, you can’t have a thread at the “nation” without some Trojan bashing, and “babyblue98” delivers on cue:
That guy [Strand] has always kind of annoyed me. i've always said who's to say he gets to be the voice who represents the bruin fan? but whenever that guy gets on my nerves, which is every game i attend, i just think that at least he's not as gay as that trojan wearing a skirt riding that white horse around the coliseum.
We know being gay has nothing to do with this, but really, who is this “babyblue” trying to kid? Anyway, “abby8065” gets the thread back on track, attempting to kill two birds with one stone … or tomato, as it were.
pathetic! I am sorry but that guy is pathetic! I don't need someone to tell me when to cheer or not; and I never cheer when someone tells me to!
He looks like a circus clown and his voice is too damn annoying. I couldn't even watch the entire video, because I wanted throw something at him.
Now he could definitely get the crowd excited if he wore a Trojan t-shirt and let people throw tomatoes at him!
I would just go to the games to get a chance to peg him.
The fun goes on for a few more comments, until the aptly named “True Blue and Gold” points out the truth (if not correct spelling) to fellow ugla fans …
It's really embarassing the way you go after your own. Geoff hasn't done any harm to anyone. If anything he promotes spirit and entusiasm. I don't know if you've noticed but he manages to get the press box side to yell Bruins while the student yell crew doesn't even tell us that it's going on.
Whether or not Strand “hasn’t done any harm” is certainly up for debate, but it is interesting to see how these bruins turn on one of their own.
USC Trojans, on the other hand, don’t have such issues. We’ll have fun here at the expense of our spirit section any day of the week, especially Thursdays.
But rather than use words like pathetic and freak and creepy when presented with video evidence, USC fans use words like lovely and hot … and wedgy.
Oh ... and now that the blogosphere is smoking its proverbial cigarette, after a few days of Song Girl insanity came to a climax last week -- although some bloggers are a little slow to the take -- we can return to our usualfare ...
Fight On!
ADD: In case you missed it among all the actual football coverage, Austin Murphy of SI spent some time with our lovely Song Girls for a Q&A that outlines their hectic New Year's Day schedule and other "interesting" details. Surely, if any of us had to wake up at 3:00 am to start curling our hair, before marching in the Rose Parade and fronting the USC Trojan Marching Band with dance routines for something like 10 straight hours, we'd end up with a wedgy at some point during the day, too. Thank goodness Megan could handle it all. .
Whether we’re on the internets, the ebays or the google we’ve all noted the majesty of video in the blogosphere. At no time was this more evident to us college football geeks than over these last few days of “Wedgygate” at the expense of the lovely USC Song Girls.
But the multimedia aspects of the Internet can also enhance and provide context for the written word as it is captured on blogs and in traditional newspapers. A case in point is Pete Carroll’s post-Rose Bowl comments about the importance of USC’s New Year’s Day win versus Michigan.
As we’ve seen and read, Carroll’s press conference statements are like streams of his consciousness, thick with run-on sentences and multiple thoughts within a single breath that can make it difficult to capture in written words the depth and meaning of what he says.
Reading three different newspaper accounts of his post-game presser, we see one of his statements quoted threedifferentways. Sure, each account records the essence of what Carroll says, but none do so with the emphasis and inflexion that captures his statements completely.
Video from NBC Sports on the other hand, does just that. You can see the relief, determination and pleasure in Carroll’s eyes as he rambles. You can see the energy and charisma that gets his players and recruits excited about the future of USC Football. You can fully understand what he is telling us. It’s subtle, but it’s there.
(For those video-challenged readers, here’s the transcript, which is the third best thing, audio being the second.):
"This is very important. You know, a young team wondering about what it feels like to be a great team and what that sense is. We’ve had that sense over the years at times, and when you feel that strong about your teammates and what we’re doing and the program, you’re really hard to beat. And we almost captured it. You know we almost had it this season. We didn’t quite get it done, and we missed our opportunity to take it all the way to the top. But it doesn’t matter. It’s all over with, you know. We won a Rose Bowl, had a great night, and did capture the feeling as we go into the off-season.
"The fact that we had our issue the last time we were here, our guys know that wasn’t us. That was the game out of the last 65 games that stood out because it was so unusual and so different, and we put it there for that reason and left it behind us. And charged on and started this, really, this is an opportunity – I don’t mind telling you – this was an opportunity to kick start what’s going on for this football team for the future, and I think we captured the night."
And, this exchange with a reporter:
“Pete you alluded to next season a little bit on the field. Is there any question where you’re going to be next season?”
“No. There’s no question. I have no question.”
No question. Video on the Internet is a wonderful thing.
Kind of like there was no question that our wonderful Song Girl "in question" is the lovely Megan. Although we already featured her yesterday, as did virtually every other college football blog, Beano tells me we have a tradition to uphold here.
So, true to this post and today being Thursday, we go to the video* …
Not sure what I like better … the free-form dancing or the standard not-quite-precisely-coordinated choreographed numbers. Then again, it doesn’t really matter.
Last week, the “twirl” was a day late. This week it’s a day early, for no other reason than the post-Rose Bowl blogosphere yesterday was awashinSongGirllovin’ … actually it’s more like Song Girl objectifyin’, but either way …
As we mentioned earlier, USC’s last two appearances at the Rose Bowl were rather embarrassing for our darling Song Girls, and we were dreading a “three-peat.” But the third time was the charm: The Trojans came away with a meaningful victory in our “second home,” and there was no “double pompom over the head waving thing” (which we all like) happening at the wrong time.
And yet, lo and behold:
More importantly, our lovely Song Girls (one in particular) put a smile on the face of more than a few Michigan fans who didn’t have much to smile about following USC’s Rose Bowl win. And, if there are fans of college football who deserve a pick-me-up after a loss, it’s the Wolverines. I’ve now been to four USC-Michigan Rose Bowl games, and once again the maize and blue showed their knowledge, class and general respect for USC and the game.
Since I was at the game, I have a few things to add...
First off, all the credit in the world goes to USC. They won the game. Plain and simple. This wasn't about a call, a play or a bad bounce. This was a good old fashioned ass-whipping.
Also, SC fans were nothing but class. And, not surprisingly, they were loud, making the game sound like it was at the Coliseum at times.
And this from another Michigan fan: "USC fans... thanks for your hospitality. Great game... see you next year."
Now that’s what college football is supposed to be about. But, I digress …
One thing’s for sure: When our precious Song Girls twirl, college football bloggers pay attention. Some of them, maybe too much … like “Yost” and “Benny” at the MZone, who received props here last month for a particularly excellent production of “Song Girl: The Sequel.”
Returning from the Rose Bowl, I was feeling pretty bad about the game...until we got emails […] with the picture of the USC Song Girl […] Needless to say, I smiled for the first time all day...and haven't stopped.
And the pic's the real deal. We checked.
Since Benny had the game on TiVo, he went to the 4:09 mark in the 2nd quarter to make sure the picture above was authentic and not Photoshopped. Because that's what we do, folks. We study (closely) the pictures of naked women so you can count on the MZone Seal of Authenticity.
Of course, sometime afterward the guys received an HD image of the shot, which showed our dear Song Girl was in fact wearing underwear, albeit tucked away thong-style, presumably after a Rockette-like kick.
This apparently ruined the fantasy (or supposed reality) for many a reader, not to mention Yost himself: “If that's what HD TV does -- spit on a man's fantasies - then I'd rather live in an analog world.”
The funny thing is our classy Song Girls not only wear their modest version of “tighty whiteys,” they also wear “nude” stockings, which surely ruin the mood even further. Somehow, a wedgy jammed between pantyhose just doesn’t have the same appeal, I suppose.
Either way, it doesn’t matter. I’m just thankful that our beloved Song Girls kept themselves in line long enough to ensure a win for USC at the Rose Bowl.
Just three days in and 2007 is looking so good … especially in HD.
UPDATE: The "analysis" and "research" continues ... NOTE: The Song Girl in question is definitely Megan. ADD: Megan (left, top photo) and Alli were already identified as suspects here.
An anonymous, but well-informed source writes us with the most convincing evidence:
It’s Megan….here’s how I know. Alison and Ali are first years so they wouldn’t be second in the ’step-off’ line that’s reserved for older members…kim and natalie (the two song girls behind the twirlers are the captains. Also I know know them all, and from the pics I know who it is…
Wednesday night we witnessed a Pac-10 coach who doesn’t know how to win … last night we saw a coach that does.
Sure, Cal’s Jeff Tedford represented the conference well, notching the Pac-10’s first win after three bowl-season losses, with an emphatic 45-10 beat down of those weirdos … I mean, Aggies … of Texas A&M. Tedford proved once again that he is indeed the Pac-10’s second best coach.
But perhaps more importantly Tedford showed an ESPN audience how to win with class. When the Bears scored their last touchdown with 28 seconds left in the game, Tedford could be seen on the sideline visibly upset because his back-up quarterback Steve Levy called a running play for back-up running back Bryan Shutte, instead of taking a knee as he was instructed.
Tedford was yelling, “What are you doing? What are you doing?,” while the rest of the Cal sideline celebrated, and as Levy came off the field, Tedford grabbed Levy’s facemask and let him have it. Afterward he presumably apologized to Aggie coach Dennis Franchione, then explained his animated conversation with Levy to Erin Andrews.* Excellent.
Of course, no one can say Karl Dorrell doesn’t have enough class to pull off a move like Tedford’s … but we’ll never really know, because he lacks the coaching prowess to build a 35-point bowl game lead in the first place.
Fight On! Beat the Wolverines!
* A gratuitous mention of Erin Andrews as a bonus, since we missed our typical Thursday fare yesterday …
We heard from the L.A. Times yesterday that Pete Carroll used his Magic Tennis Book again to improve the spirits (and presumably the play) of another Trojan who was down in the dumps.
This time it was Kyle Williams, who was apparently so distraught and depressed following his three-false-start performance during the 13-9 tragedy that he couldn’t bring himself to practice on Monday. Quoted the Times:
"That week after the game was pretty hard," said Williams, who was called for three false starts. "You try to forget about it but it seems like everywhere you've turned you're just getting reminded of it.
"I just had to get my head on straight."
Williams, a fifth-year senior, said Carroll on Monday gave him a copy of "The Inner Game of Tennis," a book that shaped Carroll's coaching philosophy. Earlier this season, Carroll gave the book to defensive lineman Lawrence Jackson when the fourth-year junior was putting too much pressure on himself.
"I wish I had known about it sooner," Williams said. "I'm about halfway done and it's really helped me be not so critical and just relax."
Now, I’m no magician, and I’m certainly no “genius” like our man Carroll, but I can’t help the feeling that this Magic Tennis Book could be doing more for USC Football. Am I missing something here … ?
Why does Carroll wait until after his players screw up before he gives them the magic book to read? Why didn’t Williams hear about the book sooner, if not from Carroll then from Jackson, the latest beneficiary of its magic?
Why doesn’t Carroll give every Trojan player a copy of the book? Couldn’t all his players benefit from its powers … or is it just one special dog-eared copy that is blessed with game-improving mojo?
And even if it is just one particular magic copy, couldn’t Carroll have his players gather around a table in groups of four or five so they can read the thing together? According to Williams, you only need to read half the book for it to start working, anyway!
I don’t get it. But then again, I’m not a “genius.”
So, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to assume (i.e., ass u me) that Nebraska fans had anything better to do than vote for their three teams in ESPN’s "All-Time Greatest College Football Playoff."
Apparently, we weren’t alone in thinking that perhaps the voting smelled like rotten corn, as Kirk Herbstreit made abundantly clear while the College GameDay crew revealed the results. “This is ridiculous,” he said.
Herbstreit’s take was that the final should have matched USC 2004 versus Miami 2001, and he wasn’t alone. Todd Blackledge tapped the ’04 Trojans for the final, as well as the Lispy One, who said: “The [2004] Southern Cal team […] I thought was maybe the best team of all time.” No kidding ... Holtz actually said that.
But it was Herbstreit who was most adamant:
Rece Davis: So, you’re calling into question the entire process.
Herbsreit: I am. … My goal is for next year to try to make sure that South Florida somehow gets ESPN Classic, and that Southern California gets ESPN Classic … because the ’04 ‘SC team and the ’01 Miami team are the two best teams in this.
So, now we know better, and maybe ESPN’s College GameDay crew does, as well.
Still, this doesn’t mean we should give up on other pre-bowl-season, dead-zone-filling voting things. Sure, we know now that these greatest team or playoff scenario brackets are “ridiculous.” But perhaps we can stack the deck in another type of contest … maybe in a category in which even an east coast biased idiot like Beano Cook could lend his support.
As luck would have it, we found just the ticket over at CBS Sportsline, which is in the midst of its Cheerleader of the Week Playoffs. As we join the fray, our beloved USC Song Girls (don’t call them cheerleaders) have already survived a first-round match-up as the No. 9 seed versus Michigan’s eighth-ranked cheering squad.
How our lovely Song Girls could possibly be ranked ninth, let alone one spot behind Michigan, I’m not sure. But, one look at the top seeds tells us that the bracket has the look of southern inferiority complex all over it. Our No. 9 seeding means we’re up against No. 1 LSU this week.
No matter, though … at the time of this writing, our pristine Song Girls lead those sweaty Bayou babes by six percentage points with 10,491 votes counted.
For sure, there is a long way to go (voting is open until Friday), but clearly, we can do this! So, let’s stuff some ballot boxes, and spread the word throughout the Trojan Family, again.
This time we may get some help from non-Trojans, too. Even though it’s not Thursday, we know Beano is good for at least 500 votes.
As we’ve pointed out before, the Force is strong in the Trojan Family. I am not embarrassed to say so … no, I’m proud to say it, damn it … because I am an admitted USC Star Wars nerd.
Still, that’s not to admit that I’m a Star Wars freak. There is a difference, which will be abundantly clear on January 1.
I’ve been to USC’s last six Rose Bowls, but I’ve never been to a Rose Parade. And even though one of my heroes, Star Wars creator and USC alum George Lucas, is the Grand Marshal of the 2007 parade, I refuse to waste good tailgating time to go see it.
The same can’t be said for 200 Star Wars freaks … I mean, “superfans” … who will dress up and march as Stormtroopers (or “clones” depending on your pre- or post-Empire perspective) along with Lucas in the parade. I would never do that.
Sure, I’m nerd enough to want to catch the two Star Wars-themed floats on someone’s TV after parking on the Riverside Golf Course. But I’m not freak enough to want to be in the parade … unless I could grab a spot next to the Song Girls, who will also be marching.
I know I’m not alone. There are other college-football-loving Star Wars nerds in the blogosphere, including Brian Cook, who runs the outstanding Michigan blog mgoblog and whose double-duty post on AOL’s Fanhouse brought this matter to our attention. (Props, or “hat tip” as it were, to him.) I don’t know Cook personally, but only a fellow Star Wars nerd could write this:
Let's say you're a big Michigan fan from Alderaan with earmuff hair, kind of a pouty thing going on, some droids, and a destroyed home world. You're probably in a bad mood. Things have not gone well of late, what with everyone you know and love evaporating as you watched from the Empire's ultimate weapon of terror, not to mention Florida going to the national championship game.
So what's the last thing you probably want to see when you roll into Pasedena for the Rose Parade? Hundreds of Stormtroopers. So let this be a public service announcement for anyone who finds themselves in this situation: skip the parade and go tailgate, because George Lucas is the Grand Marshall and wherever he goes he brings a phalanx of laser-toting bodyguards for protection from uppity Jedi Knights.* Just FYI.
*Probably something of an exagerration.
Obviously, Cook knows that Lucas is a USC alum, because he presumes that Lucas will be on the dark side on New Year's Day. Light side … dark side … it doesn’t matter to me, as long as our Song Girls behave themselves and give USC Football a chance to win the game.
When something stupid happens, most of the time we can laugh it off … chalk it up to experience … don’t cry over spilled milk … move on. But when a stupid thing happens twice, little sayings and over-used clichés don’t cut it. It’s time to get serious, if for no other reason than to make sure the stupid thing doesn’t happen a third time.
After last Saturday’s tragic loss, we know now that there is a small segment of the Trojan Family who could stand to learn a thing or two about college football. No, no, no … I’m not talking about our offensive coordinator. And, no … I’m not talking about the few USC bandwagon fans who bought baby blue No. 7 jerseys on Sunday, not realizing that “Southpaw Jesus” didn’t actually play in the game.
I’m talking about our national treasure (according to Beano Cook): The USC Song Girls.
While we were drowning in our sorrow after Saturday’s loss, our 2007 Rose Bowl opponent was fast at work pointing out some stupid stuff for which we have to account. No … not the toss sweep to the short side of the field on fourth down last Saturday.
I’m talking about the “indisputable video evidence” captured and produced (and done very eloquently, I must admit) by the Michigan blog, MZone.
I know this has been on the internets for a few days, and you may have already seen it. But I post it here in hopes of investigating the matter further. To get to the bottom of this … I’m serious.
When you consider that the two mostdevastating losses during the Pete Carroll era happened at the Rose Bowl, and that during each of those two losses one of our lovely Song Girls made a funny, we have to consider the correlation here. Think about it …
What’s to prevent another pompom feux pau from causing another loss at the Rose Bowl against Michigan on New Year’s Day? I’m serious.
So, we look at the film. I say “film” because as I observe the moving image (repeatedly zooming in on the Song Girl in question), I find myself mumbling, “up and shake … up and shake … up and shake” … like Kevin Costner in the movie JFK … “back and to the left.”
If the photo of last season’s incident was like a Zelig sighting, this video is like the Zapruder film. “Up and shake.” I’m serious.
The problem is, we can’t accurately tell from the video which one of our adorable Song Girls did the deed, so to speak. But, after searching high and low, conducting a few mock interviews, and sifting through hundreds of online photos (as we tend to do on Thursdays) … we find more “conclusive evidence.”
It turns out that Saturday’s mistake was due to an inexperienced coach. No … I’m not talking about calling another quick slant to the left resulting in another tipped pass to effectively end the game.
I’m talking about USC alumnus Will Ferrell, who unbeknownst to us (and anyone else) took over as coach of the Song Girls squad prior to Saturday’s game.
Trust me, he’s there, just out of the camera’s view. In fact, if ABC weren’t running that annoying ticker at the bottom of the shot, we would see him coaching our poor Song Girl to raise her arms: “Good!”
I love Will Ferrell. He’s funny as hell. But, making our beloved Song Girls look stupid on national television, just so he can have one of them do that double pompom over the headwaving thing we all like … well, that is funny.
But if he does it again, and causes one of our darling Song Girls to cause the Trojans to lose on January 1st … then, I’ll be really pissed.
It’s funny to see what happens to fans of good college football teams with no tradition of success. People get all excited and start to over-analyze stuff. We’re seeing a lot of that in the northeast with Jersey State undefeated. But, Cal fans are getting a little loopy, too.
There’s a post on a good Cal blog called “Tightwad Hill” that attempts to build some mojo for the Bears by making connections between this year’s Cal team and another from 1975. Here’s the list …
Cal was led by a highly-regarded QB in his first year as the starter (Joe Roth)
Cal featured a dominant running back who received Heisman attention (Chuck Muncie)
Cal was an offense-first, big-play team with a suspect defense
The Bears were led by a young, innovative coach who had come to Berkeley from an assistant job with a conference rival (Mike White - Stanford)
Cal was coming off a disappointing road loss in the prior game (UCLA)
Cal had lost its season opener to a non-conference power (Colorado)
USC was a three-time defending conference champion
The Trojans were led by a head coach who had won multiple national championships, and was the subject of constant rumors that he was heading for the pros (John McKay) [above]
USC was rated in the Top 5 (#4), but had been somewhat inconsistent in its play
Despite that inconsistency, SC was coming off a big, reassuring victory (at Notre Dame)
USC was the clear favorite in the game
(just for fun) Ohio State was the consensus #1 team in the nation, and a Buckeye was the odds-on favorite to win the Heisman Trophy (Archie Griffin)
We could go on - Tom Newton is Byron Storer, Wesley Walker is DeSean, but you get the point. […] We'll be channeling 1975 this week and we encourage you to do the same.
That’s a nice list if you like stretching stuff out of proportion a little. (Who’s Joe Roth?) But, I guess if you have no tradition, history or heritage of football success, you do what you gotta do to give yourself something … anything … to hold on to.
USC on the other hand, needn’t look so far back … or with as much obscurity. At the beginning of this season, many sports writers looking for an angle compared this year’s Trojans to 2003, when USC opened with a convincing win at an SEC school with a first-year starter at QB, who was replacing a Heisman Trophy winner, and a backfield full of freshmen ... etc.
After a few games the comparisons faded, but since the loss to Oregon State things have gotten a little funny … and by “funny” I mean spooky funny.
SI.com’s Arash Markazi looked into very interesting aspects about the comparison earlier this week, and the stuff he pointed out is uncanny. So much so that I’m starting to think our man Carroll does indeed know a lot more than even we ever thought he could.
USC's leap back up to the No. 3 spot in the BCS standings within 14 days shouldn't be shocking to those who have followed the Trojans in recent years. It's almost as if Carroll has voodoo dolls for each team sitting in front of him in the polls and after he suffers a loss, poking each one off week by week. […]
Consider this: When USC lost to unranked Cal on Sept. 27, 2003, the Trojans were ranked No. 3 in the polls and subsequently dropped to No. 10 behind seven undefeated teams. Within two weeks of the Trojans' loss to Cal, six teams above them lost, returning USC right back to where it was in the polls. During the course of the next nine weeks after the Trojans' loss, every team above them lost at least once, giving USC the No. 1 ranking by season's end.
Fast forward three years and Carroll is enjoying the same kind of luck. Within two weeks of USC's loss to Oregon State, six teams above the Trojans in the polls have lost, and one more will fall next week when Ohio State and Michigan face off. Combine that with Florida's unimpressively narrow win against South Carolina this past Saturday and the Trojans find themselves right back in the 3 spot in the BCS standings and in prime position to earn a trip to the BCS Championship Game in Glendale, Ariz. on Jan. 8 if they win out.
Now that’s a comparison on which to build some serious mojo.
Certainly, none of this has anything at all to do with what happens this Saturday. It just helps our respective fan bases deal with the stress of anticipation and pre-game hype. Of course, if history and tradition could win ball games, very few football programs could beat USC. We’ll just have see what happens on Saturday.
Fight On!
Oh … that’s right. It’s Thursday. Well, while we’re at it, let’s compare 2003 with 2006. It's great to have tradition, right Beano?
Other schools in the Pac-10 really hate USC Football. As Trojans, we understand this and we embrace it, because we know that our success is what leads to hate. When a football program is at the top its game, as USC has been over the last few years, the hate will be magnified. It’s a good thing.
However, there are fans of Pac-10 schools whose level of hate (and stupidity) is perpetually at its maximum. We’ve mentioned Cal’s idiot fans before (we’ll get to them again next week.) Arizona State used to have a punk attitude toward USC – the result of an inferiority complex developed when the Sun Devils joined the Pac-10 in 1978 – until we put a recent beat-down win streak on them.
Of course, ugla is a separate issue, but it seems to me that Oregon has that “perfect” combination of factors that makes their hate unique. The Ducks football team has enjoyed some success at the national level recently, they’ve got the best owner in college sports, they train in state-of-the-art facilities, they wear the worst uniforms of all time … but they will always play second fiddle to USC.
We know it. They know it. And this leads to hate.
I know this because I’ve experienced this hate in person. Back in 1999, I was at the USC game in Eugene, Ore., when we lost in triple overtime after Carson Palmer broke his collarbone just before halftime.
After the game, instead of exchanging pleasantries – like most fans with class and an appreciation for an exciting game – nearly every Oregon fan we came across heading out of the stadium (and there were a lot of them) had something ugly to say … “Go home you f**kin’ losers!” … “I bet it feels like s**t to be wearing that USC jacket about now, huh?” … “USC can s**k my d**k!” (Note to our “anonymous” Domer friend: How’s that for “venom”?)
I’ll spare you the various versions of “USC sucks!” and the sophomoric condom lines, but needless to say there wasn’t a lot of class and sportsmanship in Eugene that night. I’m sure there are a few Duck fans who may justifiably take exception to this, but in my experience, Oregon has the most vulgar, low-rent fans in the Pac-10 … and that’s saying something with Cal in the conference.
As for football programs with tradition, heritage and class (not to mention multiple national championships and Heisman Trophies) we know there's only one of those in the Pac-10. Even Beano Cook, can't argue with that. Right, Beano? ...
Wait a minute … it’s game day today? With all the stupid stuff going on, not to mention the fools continuing to make fools of themselves, it's easy to lose track.
