The Thursday Twirl

Beano Cook has a thing* for the USC Song Girls. As creepy as that sounds to Trojan fans, he’s been referencing them in his “analysis” of college football for years, while showing his ignorance and blatant east coast bias.

But it isn’t just dirty old Beano who likes them. SI recently proposed a reality show about the Song Girls, and The Wizard of Odds confessed last Monday to being a “sucker" for them. I never really thought about it much, but I think these guys are on to something …

Why don’t USC bloggers post more photos of the USC Song Girls? After all, they are one of the best aspects of the USC Football experience. Sure we have Traveler and the “solid gold sound of the University of Southern California Trojan Marching Band” and the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. All these things – besides winning and going to BCS bowl games – make our football experience greater, richer and more beautiful.

But why do the USC Song Girls get so much national recognition? Why not the Penn State cheerleaders or the Longhorn cheerleaders or Michigan or Oklahoma or Florida or even ugla?

BC? (No thanks.) Don’t the ND cheerleaders have some kind of Catholic school girl thing going on? (No.)

When you think about it, the only comparison really – in terms of the level of gratuitous national fascination – is that chick in the first row at Florida State games. She is nice looking (right), but in the end she’s just a representation of southern trailer trash hickism. (No offense.)

The thing is our USC Song Girls have class, or at least that’s the idea. Sure, sometimes they make mistakes, but they don’t tumble or jump without reason. They don’t yell or scream stuff that nobody can hear, except viewers at home. They don’t get lifted in the air by some top-heavy brutes holding their butts and looking up their skirts. They spin and kick and dance and that’s it. And that’s all they really need to do. Just be there and add to the unique experience that is USC Football by looking pretty and not trying to do too much.

USC Football is obviously the primary focus, but whether or not we admit it to ourselves, we love the Song Girls more than we’re willing to state publicly. Really, if there is any USC guy who says he’s never scanned the sidelines for a good look at the skirts, hair and legs twirling around while the band plays Pat Benatar’s “Heartbreaker,” he is flat out lying. What red-blooded USC Trojan hasn’t seen the Song Girls and let his mind wander a bit, even as play resumes after a change of possession?

Well, the Boi From Troy probably hasn’t. Not that there is anything wrong with that. We’re all part of the Trojan Family. But, I digress …

Surely some of us besides the Wiz and SI would enjoy more gratuitous Song Girl photos now and then. As long as it’s done with class and respect – like all our Displaced digs on ugla and ND (for the most part) – it shouldn’t take away from the serious commentary here, right? We already know there isn’t much to take, anyway.

Maybe we could make it a weekly thing like “Song Girl Sundays.” Maybe we could start today with “The Thursday Twirl”? Whatever.

Just don’t tell my wife … or Beano Cook for that matter.


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east coast bias