Monday, October 16, 2006

USC Post-Game II: The One True Idiot

My gosh! I was wrong. My apologies to Dirk Koetter and Tommy Tuberville. After a full Saturday of college football, I thought these guys were the idiots of the day. But, upon further review, by way of The Wiz, I must recant.

In fact, the biggest idiot of the day was Lamar Thomas, the former Hurricane turned broadcast analyst. Thomas, who worked (at least until yesterday) the tape-delayed broadcasts of Miami games for Comcast Sports Southeast, was apparently doing Saturday’s game live, with play-by-play partner Jason Solodkin. As is always the case in these situations, I’ll let Thomas speak for himself:

If you didn’t catch all that, here are the lowlights:
Now that’s what I’m talking about. You come into our house, you should get your behind kicked. You don’t come into the bowl O.B. [Orange Bowl] playin’ that stuff. You across the ocean over there. You across the city. You can’t come over to our place talking noise like that. You get your butt kicked. I was ‘bout to go down the elevator and get in that thang.

You know, I say why don’t they just meet outside in the tunnel, after the ball game, and get it on some more. You don’t come into the O.B., baby. We’ve had a down couple a years, but you don’t come in here talkin’ trash. Not at our house!
Of course, Solodkin was also an idiot, trying to play it straight, while Thomas ranted. He didn’t even acknowledge or try to temper Thomas’s outrageous comments. But then again, as a white guy who never played the game, he was probably frightened by Thomas. That’s how idiots think, right?

Obviously, Thomas is a proud Hurricane, having been part of two national championship teams in ’89 and ’91. Perhaps he’s less proud of his Federal indictment for being part of the financial aid scandal at Miami during Dennis Erickson’s shameful tenure as head coach. And, maybe he is embarrassed by his documented history of violence, having been arrested for three counts of battery, including two against his fiancĂ© in 1997.

Maybe Solodkin was right to be afraid of Thomas. But, he’s still an idiot.

Thomas on Saturday night disgraced and insulted anyone who cares about college football. But, my guess is that he is so incredibly stupid he sees nothing wrong with what he said. And I’m guessing he lives by a set of rules and a code of honor that he would say I can’t fully understand. Fair enough. But, Thomas is still an idiot.

Yes, Tuberville and Koetter are idiots within the scope of sarcastic football commentary, but let's keep our perspective here. It goes without saying that these guys are no where near the shameful and dishonorable idiot jerks representing the University of Miami on the field and in the booth Saturday night. Let’s hope we never see or hear that kind of crap again.

Fight On!

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