Thursday, September 25, 2008

Game Day: Oregon State 2008

Wait a minute … it’s game day today? With all the stupid stuff going on, not to mention the fools continuing to make fools of themselves, it's easy to lose track.

I forgot it was a short week, until Beano sent me a little reminder. It was a handwritten letter – Beano doesn’t type – which made it a little hard to read. But apparently he is very excited that USC will again be featured on national prime time television for a game that promises to require many shots of the sideline in order to keep viewers entertained during the second half.

Here’s what I could decipher from Beano's note:
Dear Mr. Displaced Trojan,

May I remind you that your Trojans of USC are scheduled to play a football game against the Oregon State Beavers on ESPN tomorrow night? As tomorrow is Thursday, I am very excited to know that the Song Girls will be in attendance. I’m hoping for a blowout, which would ensure maximum sideline coverage. You know, I live for this stuff, so I’m hoping you will post some good stuff, if you understand my meaning.

Sincerely,

Your Friend Beano
So, there you have it. Thursday night. USC Football with all the trimmings. Have fun with it, Beano.


Fight On! Beat the Beavers!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Game Week: Reality Update

I know we're back in game week mode, but I can't help but be entertained by the "nation" and its musings about reality. Reality this ... Reality that ... Reality there, there and there … the "nation" is indeed attempting to soothe its wound – this open, bleeding, puss-filled gash – that is ucla’s 2008 football season. And as a Trojan enjoying yet another year of football greatness, Slick Rick’s “believers” are an amusing sideshow.

I know, I know. There is plenty of other stupid stuff to entertain Trojan fans.

But there’s something about the "nation" falling all over itself in an attempt to validate Slick Rick in the face of 59-0 – that’s fifty-nine-to-NOTHING. The way they squirm while trying to protect what they think is a football heritage – with a twisted “I told you so” delusional validation – is incredibly funny. For example, we get this from Nestor:
… the “optimistic” projection for our first three games was a record of 1-2 while 0-3 was the “conservative” one. […] I think it is becoming clear to everyone at this point that the appropriate measuring stick to judge whether this season is a successful one is not going to be based on W-L record.
LOL. Success “not … based on win-loss record”? What’s so funny is this comes from someone who claims to “deplore moral victories.” Of course, anyone who isn’t biting reality – that is, anyone not part of the “nation” – recognizes this for what it is. Just like our old friend Tydides:
If you believe that what happened today [59-0] is a result of something that we did or did not do, then yes, these are excuses. If you believe that what happened is a result of what BYU did and didn’t do, then these are just realities that we have to accept.

I think it’s easier for Bruin fans to believe the former, because at least that way we have a chance at “fixing” it and still having a great season. The reality is some mixture of both …
Now that’s profound. But, of course, it comes down to that pesky win-loss thing.
Sure, it points to a higher probability of a lesser season by W-L standards, but as has been said many times, I do not judge this season on Wins and Losses.
Right. Let’s forget about wins and losses. Perhaps, if this “nation” tells itself that it just doesn’t matter and “I told you so” over and over and over, it might lower expectations just enough to convince the rest of college football to subscribe to its delusions. But everyone knows this kind of “strategery” only works in the movies.

BTW, what's with all the names from Greek mythology at the "nation"? Menelaus, Telemachus. Tydides. Nestor. Are USC Trojans supposed to be intimidated by the names of mythological characters who defeated the fictional Trojans in the Iliad? It seems ironic – not to mention idiotic and sad in a D&D geek kind of way – that the "nation" uses fiction to get their digs on USC. Why use a name based on anti-Trojan sentiment, when they could just as easily create monikers that express allegiance to ucla? Why can't they just use their real names? But I digress …

Those of us who are actually dealing with (and enjoying) reality – rather than just talking about a biased version of it – are seeing signs that there are very few people buying what the “nation” and, more significantly, what Slick Rick is selling. We saw it earlier this year with the No. 1 recruit in the nation, and we saw it again this past week. Greg Biggins of ESPN’s West Recruiting Blog, gives us the kind of reality the “nation” doesn’t want to hear:
The "soft" commitment from Inglewood (Calif.) receiver Shaquelle Evans to USC is huge on several fronts. Not only are the Trojans getting one of the elite receivers in the West, it puts a dagger in to the heart of their cross-town rivals at UCLA.

Evans, 6-1, 205 pounds, told us just a few weeks ago UCLA was the leader for his signature. He grew up a Bruins fan and the coaches at UCLA were making Evans their top offensive recruit. While USC is loaded at receiver, the Bruins have lacked a big-play threat at the position for years and Evans was/is really the only elite national receiver they're currently in on.

Things changed dramatically with Evans following USC's demolition of Ohio State last weekend. The talented athlete was on the sidelines for the game, and the fact that the big win coincided with UCLA losing to BYU 59-0 pushed the Trojans over the top.
If you don’t think 59-0 – that’s fifty-nine-to-NOTHING – is something that can be explained away by a bunch of “I told you so” blog posts, you’re not paying attention to reality. We're talking about the actual reality, as opposed to the “nation” reality. Sure, Evans’s commitment is “soft,” but as Biggins points out …
… it's difficult to envision Evans signing with anyone else other than USC. The receiver has developed a relationship with several of the Trojans commitments, including quarterback Matt Barkley. He said he likes the idea of staying close to home and the team on the field appears to be rolling toward yet another BCS Bowl.

The irony is as good as Evans is, USC has several players just like him on the roster plus two other big-time receiver prospects already committed. For UCLA, Evans would have made its class.

Now we're not saying Pete Carroll and company recruited Evans just to keep him away from UCLA. We are saying the impact of his commitment to USC could have a greater impact on the Bruins than the Trojans in just how damaging it is in their desire to end the recruiting monopoly in Los Angeles Troy currently owns.
Now that’s what I call reality! We Are SC!

Fight On!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Bye Week: Speaking of Reality

As we’ve mentioned here before, a bye week is a respite from the hype and anticipation of a regular game week. It also allows us to thoroughly enjoy the previous week’s win, and there is certainly much to enjoy coming off our domination of Ohio State.

Over the last few days we’ve had the pleasure of reading and hearing about the confirmed greatness of USC Football … how this year’s team could be Pete Carroll’s best, how our talent runs so ridiculously deep, how Mark Sanchez is a leading Heisman candidate, etc., etc.

Honestly, it gets kind of boring after a while. Not that we take anything for granted, but the greatness of USC Football is something we’ve been enjoying for years now – Win Forever – and there does come a point when it all starts to sound the same.

So, we remind ourselves that a bye week is also good for catching up on what’s happening on the other side of the tracks. Again, we must always remember to know thy enemy.

Now, I’m not pretending that we didn’t notice how ucla was stripped of its manhood during a 59-0 – that’s fifty-nine-to-NOTHING – reality check by the Mormons in Provo. How could we not?

But we didn’t bother to thoroughly investigate the details of 59-0 – that’s fifty-nine-to-NOTHING. And we certainly haven’t bothered to enjoy – that is, laugh and point at – all the PR spin and attempts to insult our intelligence during the post-game back-tracking from Slick Rick and the “nation” per Murshed. We haven’t taken the time, while basking in our own post-game glow, to notice the fools making fools of themselves again … until now.

The thing is, the funny stuff written about all the stupid stuff was easy to spot. No need to make up a catchy line or a play on Slick Rick’s words coming back to make him look silly. Chris Foster of our beloved Los Angeles Times did it for us:
Relentlessly optimistic ran into harsh reality Saturday.

There may come a day when the football monopoly in Los Angeles is over, but for now UCLA has enough trouble passing "Go."

An embarrassing 59-0 loss to Brigham Young was a big indication of that, and left first-year Coach Rick Neuheisel offering up his favorite catch phrase in a different light.

"We're going to test 'relentlessly optimistic,' " Neuheisel said after UCLA's worst loss since 1929. "But we knew it would be tested."

It was Saturday.

Tested and failed.
Ouch … or rather, LOL. Of course ucla’s even worse loss in 1929 was a 76-0 annihilation by USC. But I digress …

Notice the words “we knew” in that quote from Slick Rick. They “knew” this kind of thing – that’s fifty-nine-to-NOTHING – would happen. Just ask Nestor at the “nation.” He’ll tell you all about what ucla “knew” until he’s baby blue in the face, as if “knowing” ucla was going to get beat 59-0 – that’s fifty-nine-to-NOTHING – somehow lessens the disgrace.
We talked about the doses of reality we were going to have to deal with this year during the off season with a team with two injured QBs, a ravaged OL and an inexperienced defense with new starters sprinkled all over its lineup.
Oh, and did I mention all the excuses that apparently go along with “knowing” you’re going to be humiliated 59-0 – that’s fifty-nine-to-NOTHING – when you’re a member of the “nation”? But, I digress …
It’s not a surprise that we took one in the chin. […] This will be not be the last time we are going to take it in the chin either. There will be lot more tough moments rest of this season.
“This will be not be”? Anyway, it is obvious Nestor is trying to rally the “nation” to believe in its football program … I mean, brace for more embarrassment and disgraceful outcomes this season. That’s fine with me.

What I don’t get is how the “best coaching staff in America” allows 59-0 – that’s fifty-nine-to-NOTHING – to happen on their watch. It would be one thing if DeWayne Walker struggled during a 59-42 barn burner. And it would be somewhat understandable if Trader Chow offensively coordinated a close 17-13 defeat. But to get beat down to the point of humiliation on both sides of the ball – for Walker to allow five (5) TDs in the 2nd quarter and for Chow to put up a pathetic goose egg – well, I would hate to see what the second best coaching staff in the country can do ... or can't do, as it were.

All I know is, our man Pete Carroll lost by more than 11 points only once – 27-16 to the Domers during his first season in 2001 – the only double-digit defeat during his tenure.

That’s the reality of USC Football. We’re No. 1.

Meanwhile, we’ll let the “nation” and Slick Rick talk about filling a “passion bucket” and remaining “relentlessly optimistic” in order to declare that this “monopoly is over.” And, we’ll occasionally remind ourselves of the public promises “the best coaching staff in the United States” has made:


Know thy enemy.

We Are SC!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Post-Game: Ohio State 2008

I work with this guy who grew up in Columbus, OH, but didn’t bother to go to “the” Ohio State University. He’s a graduate of one of those little eastern schools with a name that sounds like all the others – you know, Williams or Hamilton or Middlebury or Leland. Of course, Leland isn’t a real school but the fictional place where Alex P. Keaton went off to college after growing up in Columbus. Of course, Columbus is a real place, but we can’t be sure about the college football team that plays there. It can be kind of confusing sometimes when reality is mixed with fiction. But I digress …

Even through my colleague went to a school in the northeast, he remains an ardent Buckeye fan. So, early last week he offered to bet me on last Saturday’s game.

“I know the Buckeyes are 10-point underdogs, but I want to make this a straight up bet, because I know we’re gonna win,” he told me. Of course, I respected his delusional allegiance to Ohio State, but more than anything I didn’t have the heart to tell him it really didn’t matter what he thought.

“Sure,” I said, because I was, in fact, sure of the outcome. “What are you thinking in terms of stakes?” I figured he could come up with whatever it was he was going to pay, since there was no risk to me. It only seemed fair.

“Well,” he said, “how about the loser has to wear the jersey of the winner for week.”

“OK.”

“And, you have to wear a hat of the other team,”

By “you” I figured he meant him, of course. So, again I said, “OK.”

He continued, “And you have to sing the other team’s fight song.”

“Sounds good. I’ll take that bet. Anything else?”

“Hmmm. And the jersey needs to be two sizes too small.”

Now, this guy is not a small guy, and since I’m not one to intentionally embarrass my work colleagues undeservedly, I thought I’d try to let him off the hook a bit.

“Are you sure you want to bet all this?” I asked earnestly.

“Absolutely,” he said with a knowing chuckle. “My wife has an OSU jersey that will look great on you.”

I laughed along as I began to realize that this bozo actually believed Ohio State would … not just could, but would … win the game. So, I decided to take the gloves off just a little.

“You know, on second thought, I think we should raise the stakes a bit,” I said. “I won’t enjoy hearing you butcher USC’s fight song, so why don’t we decide that the loser has to sing the fight song of their hated rival.”

“Oh, that’s a great suggestion,” said the sucker … I mean, my colleague.

Of course, we all know what happened Saturday. And I’m sure many in the Trojan Family enjoyed the spoils of friendly office bets similar to mine. It was great to see my broken colleague (right*) singing in honor of USC in front of the whole office: “Hail to the Victor.”

Indeed, it’s fun when reality – that is, the current greatness of USC Football – is mixed with the fiction of our opponents’ delusional self-confidence. For us there is no confusion, whatsoever … We Are SC!

* Buckeye's face obscured to protect whatever dignity he has left.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Game Day: Ohio State 2008

Too much hype. Too much talk. There’s nothing left to it but to do it. Beanie or no Beanie, it doesn’t matter.

We are SC!

Win Forever!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Who Says 'To Hell' These Days?

This is a great week. Not only is USC at the center of the college football universe leading into our “biggest game of the season,” but people are saying stupid stuff all over the nation, which of course I find inspiring.

Sure, we’ve already seen some really stupid stuff before this week, but you tend to appreciate it more when the stupid stuff comes from a hated, albeit respected enemy.

Again, we’ve been away for a while, so I’ll clarify the Displaced take … USC has two primary enemies: Notre Dame, which is hated but deserves a level of respect, and ucla, which is hated and deserves no respect, at all. But I digress …

Not only is Charlie Weis (above) still struggling to figure out this head coaching thing, he remains clueless about how to keep his foot out of his mouth. It’s bad enough that his reputation as an offensive genius is turning out to be merely offensive to Domer fans, but his messed up sense of humor is dragging the Domers down further.

The AP serves up the backstory and the ensuing stupidity:
[Weis] was talking about his expectations for this season, saying his team would make a statement in its opening game against San Diego State.

"Then we'll listen to Michigan have all their excuses as they come running in and saying how they have a new coaching staff and there's changes. To hell with Michigan.” …

Weis said he knew his comment would come up this week. ...

"Anyone who is a Michigan fan should know and understand that that comment pays respect to Bo and his mentality versus when playing an opponent," he said. "So take it for what it's worth. But I think that's a very respectful comment toward Coach Bo's 'To hell with Notre Dame.'"
Actually, anyone who is a college coach should know that Michigan’s players (who weren’t more than four years old when Schembechler retired after the 1990 Rose Bowl) couldn’t care less about the Crew Cut’s historical tribute. “To hell with Michigan!” That’s all they’ll hear.

So, I have to ask: How can this stupid stuff continue to happen after more than three years? I ask only because I want USC’s wins over the Domers to mean something again. We can’t have our storied rivalry be tarnished like this by a loud mouth who does so little (three wins) with so much talent.

I can hear my anonymous Domer friend now … “To hell with Charlie Weis!” he says.

Anyway, I can’t wait until Saturday, and I’m hoping against all hope that Beanie Wells will play. We want no excuses.

Speaking of Beanies, I got a note from Beano this week. He said he noticed that we were posting here again and that Thursdays weren’t the same for him while we were out.

I apologized for the long break and said, “Well, Beano ... We’re Back!”

Beano’s response? “That’s awesome. To hell with Scott Wolf!”

Win Forever!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Southern Inferiority Complex: 2008 Edition

This college football season is not yet three weeks old, and already we see the Southern Inferiority Complex emerging from yet another highly-ranked SEC team. I guess the whining and crying, while beating up on 1-AA programs, isn’t exclusive to Tommy Tuberville and Les Miles. Mark Richt is getting into the act, as well.

Again, we’ve been away a while, so let’s review:

The Southern Inferiority Complex is a second cousin to the Domer Hype Machine, which is of course closely related to the east coast bias. Together these three subversive movements make up the larger Axis of East Coast Bias. But, I digress …

Apparently stunned and feeling under-appreciated in the wake of Georgia’s fall to No. 2 – following its home field 45-21 practice game versus Georgia Southern, and in comparison to USC’s road win at Virginia – Richt began monitoring SportCenter highlights looking for reasons to blame others, in case the Bulldogs do not fulfill their “destiny.”

Andrew Dasher of UGASports.com gives us the scoop:
Running back Knowshon Moreno was a hot topic of conversation during this week's teleconference with Georgia coach Mark Richt.

Moreno's 18 carry, 168-yard, three-touchdown effort in Saturday's 56-17 win over Central Michigan obviously wowed the sellout crowd at Sanford Stadium, but it was his hurdle of Chippewa safety Vince Agnew to complete a 29-yard run that dropped jaws.
OK. Let’s stop it right here. Who the hell is Knowshon Moreno? And, more importantly, who are the Central Michigan Chippewas? Oh, that’s right. They’re another no-name school against which Craig Sheppard could complete a “three-touchdown effort.” Who is Craig Sheppard? Exactly. But, I digress …
It was a play that Georgia fans will no doubt be talking about for quite a while, but it was one that many in the country watching ESPN did not get to see except for a brief glance during a quick preview of the Bulldogs highlights to come following a commercial break. Knowshon Moreno's hop over Vince Agnew wasn't the highlight fans thought it should be.

When the network did its Top 10 plays, Moreno's highlight was not included. Richt was asked about the omission.

"I think they missed the boat or didn't do their homework or something," Richt said. "Normally they do a good job with that, so it looks like somebody would have noticed that. It didn't make their highlights, but it's going to make ours for a long time."

A representative from ESPN's local online affiliate claimed that FOX did not put the highlight in its highlight package to other networks.

"You're kidding me," Richt said. "OK, so you're throwing FOX under the bus. I threw you under the bus now you're throwing FOX under the bus. That's the way it works."
If anybody should be thrown under any bus (figuratively, of course), it’s Richt. Who does he think he is … Roone Arledge? Perhaps if he did his “homework or something” he’d knowshon that much of the sports media knowshons that hurdling a Chippewa is hardly a challenge. Try hurdling this … or this … or this … then we’ll talk about highlights.

And while you’re at it, try doing it more than once, in a big game, against a rival program, on national primetime television. Then maybe we’ll all see Georgia’s highlights on ESPN, and we’ll knowshon who Knowshon is.

Until then, Richt should concentrate on the task at hand, rather than trying to make a mountain out of a Chippewa. Trust us, we know.

Beat the Buckeyes!

Ohio State Week: Transferring Hate

Like everyone else, I can’t wait for this Saturday’s game. I can’t wait to see USC on college football’s center stage in prime time, once again. I can’t wait to see how well our man Pete Carroll has prepared the Trojans for a classic match-up against an iconic program.

Still, I also can’t help but feel like something is missing this week. Maybe it’s the feeling that Ohio State won’t be bringing its best without a fully healthy Beanie Wells (above). Maybe it’s the Buckeyes’ lackluster win over Ohio last Saturday, and their slide in the rankings to No. 5. Maybe it’s the 10-point spread that tells us the magically accurate experts in Vegas feel the same way.

The thought crosses my mind that perhaps this isn’t the supreme challenge we all thought it would be … and that scares me. USC can’t afford to think Ohio State isn’t anything but “the” Ohio State.

Then again, what the hell do I know? According to Paul Peszko of the Bleacher Report, any hint of complacency among the Trojan Family was erased when Slick Rick and Trader Chow out-coached Rocky Top's Phil Fulmer – I know, that’s not saying much – in Pasadena last Saturday night. Here’s Peszko’s take:
Last week, Ohio State lost any psychological advantage they could possibly muster when UCLA came back in the second half to knock off Tennessee in OT, 27-24.

Even though USC was named No. 1 in both polls, they were no longer the media darlings of L.A. football. All week long, it has been a continuous procession of UCLA Bruins before the media.

The usual hype over USC’s 52-7 pasting of Virginia and the rise to No. 1 has been eclipsed by the media’s fascination with a team given up for dead pulling off the upset of Week One. …

For the Trojans, the game with Ohio State is not a springboard to a National Championship. It is not even to maintain their ranking at the top of the polls. It is not to show that the Pac-10 is better than the Big Ten. It is not even to prove that Trojans are better than Ohio State.

For the Trojans, the game with Ohio State is much, much bigger than all that. This game is for one thing and one thing only: to take back the City of Angels.
Hmmm. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I think Peszko is on to something. As I watched Slick Rick’s “relentless optimism” – a.k.a., the classless behavior that will no doubt lead to his third set of violations sometime during this, his third head coaching job – I began to feel the proper hate that fuels the motivation it will take to beat the Buckeyes.

If allowing ucla and its Slick Rick to get under our skin a little bit gives us an edge this Saturday, that’s fine with me. I’m in.

Fight On!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Ohio State Week: It's a Matter of Class

I love it when people talk trash. It's part of what makes sports in this country so great. Anyone can say anything they want, but it all comes down to performance on the field. And more times than most, when someone talks trash to the USC Trojans, we make them pay.

Just ask DeShaun Jackson, a Displaced favorite whose considerable athletic gifts on the field were surpassed by the speed of his mouth ... until we shut him up on the field, twice.

So, while much of the hype-makers were quick to jump on Ray Small (above) for his words of "wisdom" following "the" Ohio State's "dismantling" of the Ohio Bobcats last Saturday, it's all old news to us.

To review, in case you haven't seen Small's words on the bulletin board inside Heritage Hall:

As I took my visit to USC, I'm like, 'How are they successful? They're not even serious about the game.' Before the game, they're all going crazy. Me and [Buckeyes defensive end] Rob Rose was on the visit and I'm looking like, 'Wow.' And then the coach said, 'You better get out of here. It's 'bout to get hectic.'

And then I come [to Ohio State] on the visit and before the game, it's all quiet, everybody getting taped, coaches talking. It's the total opposite. ...

It's more of a class thing ... Here at Ohio State, they teach you to be a better man. There, it's just all about football.

How is USC successful? This is how we do it, Ray. We read books about tennis! Of course, this can be a bit puzzling to those who mistake conventional wisdom and sweater vests for "class."

Still, I suppose Small is right about one thing: USC is certainly a different kind of football program. Small will find this out first hand on Saturday afternoon.

We are SC!

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Once Again ... We're No. 1!

And now for our second "displaced" act ...

Back to No. 1 where we belong?! As any true, 21st century Trojan Football fan knows, the only polls that matter, during the only week that matters, are the ones at the end of the season that get us into the BCS Championship Game. But the fact remains that it is indeed more fun when we're No. 1.

It's even more fun when USC Football takes over the top spot after thoroughly dominating a team from a BCS conference on its home field, while the Ohio State university -- that's "thuh," not "thee" -- and Georgia beat up on 1-AA teams.

Perhaps it will be all-time fun in a few weeks, if/when we take over the No. 1 spot for being No. 1 more than any other program in the land. Certainly, being No. 1 was easy fun this past Saturday, as we enjoyed an extra week to prepare for the Buckeyes.

That said, we here have a particularly good feeling about being No. 1 this season. The last time USC opened the year on the east coast against a team from Virginia, the Trojans won a national championship in Miami adjacent. We'll see what happens this coming Saturday and in the weeks to come, but we'll go ahead and say it now ... I'm feelin' some No. 1 fun come January in south Florida.

If it happens, I can link back to this post and say, "I told you so!" And, if not, I can always erase the link like our revisionist friend Murshed "Nestor" Zaheed. It's gonna be a fun ride, regardless.

Fight On!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Slick Rick Gets Tricked

So, Matt Barkley - the No. 1 recruit for the class of 2009 and the first junior ever to be named National Gatorade Player of the Year - announced his commitment to USC last night. I suppose this latest recruiting coup by our man Pete Carroll sets our world straight after all the angst Traitor Chow seemed to be causing this week.

But the take here is that Barkley's commitment sheds new light on a few quotes sprinkled throughout the Traitor Chow coverage - quotes from "experts" that were like flies on Traveler's ass, until Barkley made his commitment public.

The best example is Bill Plaschke's over-reaction to Slick Rick's moves since becoming head PR guy at ucla. With Murshed "Nestor" Zaheed and the "nation" of idiots masturbating over our used goods, Plaschke (who has been among Murshed's enemy journalists at the Times) waxed unpoetically about how Slick Rick is more than just a liar executing "cheap parlor tricks."

Plaschke quoted sources to provide insight into how college football recruiting works, and to suggest that perhaps the Three Stooges (aka Slick Rick, Trader Chow and Dwayne "One Trick" Walker) would now be the "it" thing for five-star high school players.
"Norm Chow has just looked USC in the eye and said, 'Here we come,' " said Steve Clarkson, local quarterback guru. ...

"A kid like that is looking for the best opportunity to get him to the NFL," Clarkson said. "Norm Chow gives him that." ...

"Kids no longer go to the school that they rooted for as a kid, they look at it like a business," said Clarkson, whose celebrated quarterback academy has helped spawn three current NFL starters. "And to say that Norm Chow won't make a difference is to make a serious error in judgment."
If you don't know Steve Clarkson, he is the private quarterback instructor who worked with Matt Leinart. He also tutored Jimmy Clausen, and some "experts" thought he steered Clausen away from USC and toward Notre Dame, following an argument with Pete Carroll at USC's "Pro Day" in 2006. Clarkson has been working with Barkley, so reading the quotes above, you could see how the "nation" of idiots might begin to think that Slick Rick's tricks have already won six straight Pac-10 titles, three Heisman Trophies, five BCS bowls, and two MNCs.

Add to that this quote in Plaschke's piece from Bruce Rollinson, Barkley's head coach at Mater Dei:
"We tell our athletes, marry yourself to your future position coach, that's the guy you'll live with. And now, if you're a quarterback going to UCLA, you're getting the real deal."
Hmmm. If Barkley's personal QB coach and the head coach of his high school are saying things like that, you'd think Traitor Chow would be a lock to put the kid in powder blue. But it turns out that Clarkson and Rollins were pulling a fast one to protect a secret.

Said Clarkson in today's Times: "(Barkley has) had a silent commitment (to USC) since last October. It was a decision he felt good about but never announced until now."

I love it. While Barkley was touring ucla during an unofficial visit with Slick Rick over the weekend, Clarkson and Rollins were getting slick with Slick Rick, with the "nation" of idiots following along.

Now, when Barkley recruits his 2009 classmates to come to USC he can tell them that he's heard Slick Rick's lies and b.s. up close and in person. He can tell them that he could hardly stop himself from throwing up (or laughing out loud) while in enemy territory, knowing that he was, is and will forever be a member of the Trojan Family.

And if you don't think Pete Carroll wasn't having a little chuckle about all this - and a little "this is how we do it" high-five with Ken Norton and Steve Sarkisian - then you don't think like a true Trojan ... and, apparently, you don't think like Matt Barkley.

Congratulations, Matt! Fight On!

Friday, May 18, 2007

UCLA’s “100” Championships

I thought I could make it to August without a single Displaced post. I was content to slumber through March and April without a care during Florida’s run to another basketball championship, not to mention USC’s Sweet 16 showing. I was thinking I could let USC Spring Football and the NFL Draft slide by as I continued my rest until the Trojans begin another season atop the college football world. But, I was wrong …

Instead, the “nation” and its fearless (read shameless) leader Mr. Zaheed … I mean, “Nestor” … thought they could make a big deal out of ugla supposedly winning its 100th national collegiate championship in a team sport.

At least two things struck me about this.

First, ugla won its “100th” championship in women’s water polo. That’s right, women’s water polo. Like many of its other championships -- 22 in men’s and women’s volleyball, 16 in men’s tennis -- the “nation” stakes claim to a “national” title in a secondary sport that no one really cares about.

However, since we here know enough to give credit where credit is due, a “national championship” as recognized by the NCAA is, in fact, a national championship. So, we’ll give the Lady Bruins water polo team as much as they deserve.

That said, what also struck me about all this was how -- in typically hypocritical and convenient ignorance -- “Nestor” and his “nation” forgot the fact that this win by the ugla women’s water polo team was actually the 101st time an ugla team had raised a “national” championship trophy.

As “Nestor” continues to post disparaging, biased remarks about the integrity of USC Football, he somehow forgets that ugla’s softball team was actually stripped of the national title it “won” in 1995. This for enrolling a ringer -- named Tanya Harding (above), of all scandalous monikers -- for one half season and one academic quarter, which she never finished. “A lack of institutional control” was how the NCAA officially described it.

Not only was the ugla softball team stripped of its title, it was also stripped of scholarships, placed on probation for three years and disallowed from playing in the 1997 post-season.

We’re not talking about alleged violations, about which the coaching staff or the school knew nothing. These are violations proven as fact, which resulted in near-death penalty punishment of a celebrated ugla sports team.

Typically, all this happened in 1995, while “Nestor” was a student at ugla. Just another example of the master of selective memory and hypocrisy at work. Speaking of work, what does “Nestor” do for a living? Does anybody know?

Anyway, I wouldn’t have had to write this post had anyone else remembered in any significant way that the 1995 UCLA softball team was, in fact, a fraud and a lousy bunch of cheaters.

But, perhaps this Displaced Trojan was never meant to sleep through three straight months. Maybe it’s time to get ready for the 2007 USC Football season. So much for the summer slumber …
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Thursday, February 22, 2007

Song Girl Natalie Says: Farewell

WeAreSC.com does a nice job conducting what it calls “exit interviews” with outgoing senior football players. I like reading them because they help fill time between Signing Day and Spring Football, while also confirming that current student-athletes are learning what it means to be part of the Trojan Family.

However ... WeAreSC took a detour yesterday to interview (so to speak) Natalie Nelson about her thoughts (so to speak) regarding her career as a USC Song Girl. It was titled: “Exit Interview: Natalie.”

Of course, Beano read the article and cried. Me? I just about fell asleep.

No disrespect to the interviewer David Chung, but this is the fluffiest fluff piece that has ever been fluffed. In fact, the piece is so fluffy that Chung never mentions Nelson’s last name, as if she’s some sort of character in a reality TV show.

Not that we should expect much in the way of hard hitting issues here, but Chung could have asked Nelson at least a few questions that incorporate the words "bad timing” or “wedgy” ... just to keep things interesting.

After all, Nelson has been the quintessential (if not stereotypical) USC Song Girl for the last couple of years. She’s been a co-captain of the squad. She dated a captain of the football team, linebacker Dallas Sartz. She’s the daughter of Song Girl coach Lori Nelson. She's performed through injuries. She was on the cover of Los Angeles Magazine (left), and she’s posed toward the center of most Song Girl group photos, because -- let’s be honest -- she’s a strikingly beautiful blond who looks great in a Song Girl sweater and skirt.

However ... she is also responsible for this, ...


... and she is the inspiration for this ...


... and this, ...


... which subsequently led to these, ...



... the production of this, ...

... and the over-exposure (so to speak) of this ...


Not to mention her attendance in Senora Ross’s “Spanish III” class.

Yes, we know Nelson isn’t directly responsible for the “wedgy,” but she certainly set the precedent for the college football blogger geek frenzy that resulted from it.

Of course, we’re not complaining about this stuff. We always laugh with the Song Girls, not at them. So, again, you’d think Chung could ask at least one question that doesn’t read like a double pompom over the head waving thing (so to speak).

Instead, to her credit, Nelson mentioned her “bad timing” in response to Chung’s 31st fluffy question. This created the only part of the Q&A worth reading:
WEARESC: What are the toughest parts of being a Song Girl and what will you take out of it after you leave USC?

NN: One of the toughest things was definitely the Photoshopping. It was hard to see myself that way because none of the referees hands are up and I’m just there trying to get the crowd pumped up because everyone in the stands was nervous we were going to lose because they were right in front of us. What’s disappointing for me is that I really know football, maybe even more than anyone on the squad. I’ve grown up around football and I know the sport. It was hard because I know the sport and the picture was just taken at the wrong place, wrong time, and then Photoshopped.
“Photoshopped.” It almost makes you feel sorry for Nelson, if not for her other answers about focusing on a modeling career, doing charity work -- and anything else she might have said before I fell asleep -- all of which tells us that she’ll never have to hold down a real job … ever.

“Such is the life” (as Nestor puts it) of a infamous USC Song Girl. Just another thing to make the jealous “nation” more jealous … and bring Beano to tears.

Fight On!
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USC Hockey: It's All Fun and Games ...

Part of the fun of writing a blog is pointing out stupid stuff. Of course, it's funny when that stuff is perpetrated by the domers or the bruins. But, we’re by no means above (or below) mentioning any funny/stupid stuff that happens within the Trojan Family.

Take the curious case of USC hockey goalie Mickey Meyer. I say “curious” not because “USC” and “hockey” seem to form an oxymoron, but because Meyer, apparently playing out some sort of Slap Shot fantasy, decided it would be funny, if not appropriate, to show his bare ass to everyone during a 6-4 loss to BYU.

Now, if you’re in shock upon hearing this, you’re not alone … I too had no idea that USC had a hockey team. Turns out the “Ice Trojans” have their own Web site, play in the hockey Pac-8, and have won the league championship two years running. In fact, USC Hockey has won seven Pac-8 Championships, including four in a row, 2000-2003. But, I digress …

For an account of Meyer’s behavior there is a second-hand report from the AP or Utah’s Herald-Journal:
Mickey Meyer, the Trojan’s starting goalie, pulled his hockey pants down and exposed his buttocks during the final period of an afternoon game against BYU, according to reports.

Meyer, a junior from Clinton, N.Y., was ejected from the regional tournament game and cited by police. North Park Police Sgt. John Italasano said the County Attorney’s Office will now decide whether to criminally prosecute Meyer.

“To be honest with you, I really don’t know (why I did it),” he said. “I had my fill of these refs. ... I thought I’d take a little more control on our side.”
Of course, this stupid stuff is tailor-made for a site like Deadspin, which came through with a nice take.
Meyer is also the goalie who stopped a puck with his head in a 5-3 win over UCLA on Jan. 19. The Trojans play in the Pac-8 Conference, which they won this year, and from what we understand each player is required to put up more than $1,000 of his own money to participate. So we think Mickey earned his little moment.
Surprisingly (or not), ugla “nation” regular “Menelaus” chimed in, jumping at the chance to make some hay. But he, like Deadspin, missed the opportunity to point out the truly funny and/or disgustingly embarrassing element of Meyer’s stunt.

Thanks to the Sports Column blog, which took the time to read through comments left on the Herald-Journal post, we get this:
While the antics might have played well in Socal […] the folks in Utah are upset over the incident. Here is the last reader comment from the article:
“I've read a few of the comments since I explained that my little girls were shocked by what he did. When he "mooned" us, he showed us more than his behind (every one who was there knows what I mean). We're going to make sure that he is prosecuted and that he pays for what he did.”
Yikes. On everyone's parts.
Now, that’s offensive, inappropriate and something to be embarrassed about. Leave it up to us to point this out to the likes of “Menelaus” … but what the hell? We’re talking about freakin’ hockey … club-sport hockey … at USC.

As Allen Iverson says, “We talkin’ about [USC Hockey], man. I mean, how silly is that? … We talkin’ about [hockey], man. What are we talkin’ about, [USC Hockey]?

Fight On!

UPDATE: Ramona Shelburne of the L.A. Daily News adds this: "After Meyer skated off, he was replaced by - no joke - Matt Buttweiler."

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Jealous "nation" Attacks

As we’ve said here before, it’s funny when fools make fools of themselves, but perhaps it’s even funnier when they simmer in their own jealousy for everyone on the internets to see.

Apparently, it wasn’t enough last week for the “nation” to criticize its own amateur student “journalists.” They had to attack a sports writer from USC, as well. The difference being Arash Markazi is a professional journalist for SI.com, and he was writing about the emergence of USC “basketball.”

As usual, whenever anything threatens to expose its blind paranoia, the "nation" takes offense.

Never mind that Markazi is one of many, many journalists to notice the “Trojan Uprising” in hoops, the ever articulate “Tydides” decided to jump all over Markazi, accusing him of writing a biased piece.
There's another trOJan apologist on the loose, and he needs to be set straight.

As some of us are aware, SI.com's Arash Markaz is a trOJan alumnus, so it should come as no surprise that he is doing his best to turn lemons into lemonade, doing what he and his school does best: spin. […]

It's embarrassing that these writers try to devalue the only aspect of the game that truly matters: the final score.
As we all know, everyone is entitled to an opinion … but for the ugla “nation” this only applies when the opinion is in line with Nestor’s internal reality. But, I digress …

Actually, the most embarrassing part of the post by "Tydides" is classic “nation” stuff -- you know, the fool making a fool of himself sort of thing -- the kind of moronic humor that can only be delivered through the ironic hypocrisy that occurs at the “nation” on a daily basis. Quoting Markazi, our buddy “Tydides” writes:
Seriously, our conference is full of morons, from Marcus the Mouth, all the way to these two trOJan jackass (to borrow a term from N) "surrender monkeys".
"That's having more of a winning mentality," says Aaron [sic] Afflalo. "We know we have to do what we need to do to win a game."
The name's ARRON, Jackass [sic] Markaz. He's a Wooden award finalist, and probable favorite for Pac 10 POY. But his words are the bottom line. We know how to win a game. SUC does not. Spin that.
The funny part? While “Tydides” is attacking “Markaz” for spelling Arron Afflalo’s name incorrectly -- although one could argue that Afflalo misspells his first name every time he writes it – "Tydides" is also showing himself to be the fool he is by misspelling Markazi’s name … all this in a single five-word sentence.

Really, you can’t make this stuff up. It’s almost unbelievable, and yet it’s right there in the blogosphere for all to see. Sure, “Tydides” might tell us that misspelling Markazi’s name was intentional, but we know he’s not that smart. He even misuses a parenthetical “sic” in an apparent attempt to add sarcasm to his tired name calling. Pathetic.

Why all the hate for Markazi? Pure bruin jealousy is the guess here. Not only is Markazi free to write articles about his alma mater for a major publication and get paid for it, he also leads the kind of life the “nation” can only dream about.

We know this because the “nation” continually attempts to convince itself that ugla is “cool” by posting photos suggesting that bruins (even a sorry juggler) get “mad action,” as Nestor puts it. An example is a picture of Lorenzo “Pretty Boy” Mata sitting poolside among women with a certain “don’t-touch-me” body language

Again, we’ll let the “nation” speak for itself:
Yes this is our Mata. The Dude is so money. And look at him. He knows it:
Such is the life of a Ben Ball warrior.
Look at Mata, indeed. The “nation” gives a hat tip to Insomniac’s Lounge, which has a slightly different take on the poolside Mata. Regardless, if this is Nestor’s idea of “action” … well, who knows what kind of life the “nation” leads?

USC on the other hand has a full photo spread of the Trojan Marching Band with SI swimsuit models who aren’t afraid to touch them, in the most popular magazine issue of the year, no less.

And it wasn’t just a band geek thing. Back in August, when the Swimsuit photos were shot at USC, Markazi chronicled his “action,” as Nestor calls it, for SI.com. AOL’s Fanhouse over the weekend reminded us of Markazi’s account of the shoot.
Having graduated from USC two years ago and being the lone Trojan in the group of about a dozen photographers, assistants, make-up artists and editors, I lead the crew down from The Standard to campus, still somewhat surprised that there will be an SI Swimsuit shoot a few feet away from Chano's Drive Inn and the 901 Club as I drove down Figueroa Street. […]

There are probably a laundry list of reasons why hanging out with models is good way of passing the time (I highly recommend it if you have the means).
Obviously, Markazi has the means … or rather the luck. Either way, the point here is that if hanging out and taking photos with hot women is the measure of cool, USC has ugla beat, hands down. We know this criteria is trivial, but we’re not the ones overcompensating for shortcomings. We know it’s all fun and games.

Nevertheless, “such is the life,” as Nestor phrased it, of USC Band geeks and a graduate of the USC journalism program. Of course this, combined with the national attention of the “Trojan Uprising” in hoops, doesn’t sit well with the “nation,” which explains its attack on Markazi. (Note the correct spelling).

We know thy enemy … and they’re just so jealous.

Fight On!
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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The ucla bruin Instinct

As we’ve stated here before, it is important to know thy enemy. Of course, this doesn’t mean that we must always engage in debate with our enemies, especially when they don’t want any.

But, we should know what they’re up to at all times, if for no other reason than the comedic value and general entertainment it provides us. Besides, you never know when they'll do something stupid, however frequently that may be.

Such is the case with the bruin “nation,” which continues to show a proclivity for attacking its own.

As it turns out, this ugla instinct is true to the nature of actual bruin bears, which -- according to at least one hunting Web site -- attack their own in the wild as a way of “population control.” An entry on “Calling and Hunting Bears” tells us that "adult male bears will kill cubs if given the chance ..." But, I digress …

Sure, we’re used to seeing the “nation” personally attack its head football coach and anyone else (especially fellow bruins) who don’t subscribe to its narrow points of view. But, last week, Nestor -- no, I will not post his real name again -- and his clan decided to attack a young bruin cub named Ben Azar, an ugla student who writes for the Daily Bruin.

Azar’s offense? He dared to disagree with dumpdorrell.com:
The dumpdorrell.com Web site has criticized Dorrell for every reason imaginable, including poor in-game coaching, failure to take responsibility, inability to recruit and insincerity. It makes some ridiculously baseless, LaRouche-like assertions that should serve as red flags to the people that actually put stock in the Web site. One assertion that really has me chuckling is that the assistant coaches that have left have mostly been forced out by Dorrell, who is using them as scapegoats to deflect responsibility from his “horrible” beginning as a head coach.

It won’t happen, but let’s say this movement actually got what it wanted and a new head coach was hired for this season. How ludicrous would it be to implement a new system and revamp the whole program in a season where they are prepared to be an elite team? It would make a rebuilding year out of what should be a great year for the program.
True to their nature, the bruin “nation” and dumpdorrell.com sought to discredit Azar -- as if an amateur journalist for the ugla student newspaper requires discrediting -- by pointing out and inflating the kid’s questionable reference to Lyndon Larouche.
The assclowns over at Daily Bootlickers are now comparing Dorrell critics over at DD to a known anti-semite and fascist. […]

That is, of course, just uncalled for on the part of these amateuer [sic] idiots at the Daily Bootlicker. Keep in mind though that this is not something new coming out from this so-called joke of a sports section from UCLA's student newspaper.
This from Nestor, who thought it appropriate to compare the buzz about USC “basketball” to opinions about the Iraq War and weapons of mass destruction. As much as Nestor protests the Larouche reference, perhaps the hullabaloo over the "accusation" is designed to distract from the other adjectives Azar used to accurately describe the dumpdorrell "movement": "ridiculously baseless" ... "red flags" ... "has me chuckling" ..."ludicrous."

Not to be outdone, dumpdorrell.com gives us this “not at all verbatim” account of its “conversation” with the Daily Bruin editor Jeff Schenck, during which “dd” professes not to care what Azar thinks … in the midst of demonstrating just how much “dd” cares what Azar thinks.
DD: Will you be printing a retraction or an apology for the piece?
JS: No.
DD: Why not?
JS: It was Ben’s column and Ben’s opinion and we don’t think he called you guys racist.
DD: We don’t care what he thinks about us. Anything printed in the DB reflects on the community. He equated us and critics of Dorrell with a nazi racist criminal. You don’t think LaRouche is racist?
JS: Ben never made that equation. You are reading into that. He said your arguments were like LaRouche’s arguments, silly and extremist.
Clearly, it's the Daily Bruin that couldn't care less what dumpdorrell.com thinks. Nevertheless, the “not verbatim” dialogue continues in a “silly and extremist” manner.
JS: We are sorry if you are offended but we don’t agree with you.
DD: It’s not about us, we could care less what the DB and Ben Azar think about us. Its the larger community that we are concerned about, and allowing this poisonous perception to exist is wrong.
JS: We are sorry if you feel that way. But it is Ben’s opinion and his piece.
As Nestor says, “this is not something new.” The “nation” also has been harassing another bruin student “journalist” named David Woods.

Apparently miffed that Woods wrote a piece criticizing ugla coach Ben Howland, Nestor went all Mike Krzyewski on Woods, comparing Woods to the great Bill Plaschke.
It's pretty clear that this student version of Bill Plaschke is as clueless about the sport as the one the Trojan Times subjects us to every week. […]

The clown ought to look at himself in the mirror, and he would discover that he is not capable of writing a concise, well thought out sports column.
Of course, we’re not above commenting on a student reporter’s bad journalism occasionally, but while it’s one thing to criticize a young student for writing something that the “nation” considers stupid (that is, anything that doesn’t fall in line with Nestor’s narrow point of view), it’s another thing to label Woods an “assclown” in a sincere attempt to embarrass the poor kid. True to form, Nestor goes even further, calling for Woods’ proverbial head:
If you want to write Daily Bruin about this idiot, I'd suggest you contact/email Daily Bruin's Editor-in-Chief Jeff Schenck at jschenck@media.ucla.edu (and at editor@media.ucla.edu). In addition, email sports editor Bobby Gordon at bgordon@media.ucla.edu. Fill up their email boxes folks.

It is just embarrassing that a "senior" sports writer of the student newspaper of the best public university in the country, featuring one of the greatest athletic program in college sports, can write such a misinformed, ignorant article on its hallmark sports program. Time to let them know how they have become a joke. Perhaps they can be chastened before they move on to real jobs. Maybe this could be a wake up call for them before they completely evolve into (it may be too late) the Bill Plaschke of next generation.
Now that’s what an alumni network is all about! LOL.

Of course, like Pavlov’s dogs, the usual suspects followed, led by typically abusive comments from our friend “Tydides”:
I've said it before and I'll say it again: David Woods is an embarrassment to UCLA. I hope he reads BN. I'd like to direct this comment at him: Find A New Career Path. […]

I'll say this right now: Howland did a much better job as a basketball coach last night than Woods did as a writer. […]
Adding his two pennies, “bluestreet” describes Woods as “a shitty sports writer who is clearly asking the wrong questions.”

Geez. It seems like common sense that a head coach of an esteemed basketball program would do a “much better job” at his profession, relative to an aspiring student sports writer … that is, an amateur without benefit of an actual journalism program!

Of course, USC Trojans don’t have these issues … one, because the Daily Trojan is produced by students who attend a real journalism school and who write articles even the ugla "nation" deems "intellectually honest" and "brutally accurate" … two, because we would rather support members of the Trojan Family, particularly our young student journalists, rather than kill them off.

Then again, perhaps we shouldn’t be so hard on these bruins and this “population control” their supposed “nation” employs. It’s all instinct for them, after all.

Fight On!
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Thursday, February 15, 2007

USC Song Girls Are Lovely, But ...

So, it’s Thursday, and while Beano may be expecting the usual twirl, today we’re going pro. Turns out Sports Illustrated paid a visit to USC recently to take a few photos of the Trojan Marching Band for SI’s 2007 Swimsuit Issue.

Who's to say why the photo editors at SI decided to combine skinny (albeit beautiful, bikini-clad) women with geeky (albeit lucky as hell) USC Band members … on FieldTurf, no less.

But who are we to wonder about such things?

We ...

Are ...

SC!

We ...

Are ...

SC!

Fight On!
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