Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Who is Sean Smith?

Apparently, Pete Carroll was wasting his time Saturday night when he went directly to his office from the Rose Bowl to figure out why the Trojans lost 13-9. Instead of reviewing game tape, he should have picked up the phone and called Sean Smith, according to Sean Smith.

Who the hell is Sean Smith? I don’t know. But he knows how to fix our man Carroll’s “blunder.” Just ask Sean Smith. He’ll tell you … and if you don’t ask, he’ll issue a press release:

USC Trojans' Head Coach Pete Carroll Programmed His Football Team to Lose, According to Sean Smith

Los Angeles, CA (PRWEB) December 4, 2006 -- The USC Trojan football team's national title hopes were squashed all week long by an unlikely suspect - their head coach Pete Carroll, who attracted defeat for his own players, says Sean Smith, a local speaker and recognized Goal-Getting Guru who teaches people how to Attract Results Now.

"As soon as Coach Carroll told the media early in the week that UCLA was going to be their toughest opponent of the year," says Smith, "he made the game much more difficult for his players. The Trojans had all week long to focus on how good the Bruins are and how hard the game would be. So as Saturday's kickoff neared, the team had been sufficiently programmed for defeat."
Who the hell is Sean Smith? I don’t know. But he says he’s a “Certified Master Results Coach” specializing in “neuro-linguistic programming.” We should listen to him, according to him:
"What I wish more people understood is that whatever you choose to focus on in any arena, whether it's success or failure, your unconscious mind takes it as a command, as if that's what you're looking for. […]," says Smith.

That blunder was one of the major contributing factors in the second-ranked team in the country being upset by their cross-town rivals for the first time in seven years. Carroll's comments set an expectation in the Trojan players' minds that the game would be tough, and at the same time bolstered UCLA's confidence.
Who the hell is Sean Smith? I don’t know. But according to Sean Smith, Sean Smith “teaches people how to erase all their inner obstacles and start attracting outrageous results immediately.”

Had we listened to Sean Smith (and presumably paid him money to impart his "recognized" goal-setting guruness), USC certainly would have won last Saturday, according to Sean Smith.

Never mind DeWayne Walker’s excellent defensive game planning. Never mind John David Booty tracking Steve Smith with his head and eyes before throwing the tipped interception with 1:10 left. Never mind nine momentum-killing penalties for 56 yards, caused by clever rushing schemes that USC’s O-line apparently never saw on film and to which it couldn’t adjust.

Surely, Sean Smith could have prevented all that, just ask him.

Who the hell is Sean Smith? Ask anyone but Sean Smith and they’ll tell you …

Sean Smith is an idiot.


Anonymous said...

And why do you suppose the best golfers in the world can't beat Tiger Woods

Anonymous said...

This guy is a douche.

And just what has he won again??