Election Day 2006

As we’ve said before, there are a few things – albeit very, very few – that are more important than USC Football. One of these things is our right (dare I say, responsibility) to vote. Whatever your views, beliefs or predisposed attitude, today is the day to take action.

Fight On!
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Irony of Anonymity

I was wondering last week if it is possible to find irony in a statement of irony that is itself ironic. And if so, is there a word to describe it?

I thought that maybe “double irony” would work, but ironically, simply multiplying “irony” by two doesn’t get to the irony I was seeking.

Hmmm. Very confusing. Here’s the issue …

A person who goes by the name “anonymous” – who seems to have a problem with my take on the Domer Hype Machine – has left a few comments on Displaced posts recently.

Of course, like anyone who writes a blog, I love receiving comments. It doesn’t matter if a comment is complimentary or completely derogatory (as long as it’s publicly appropriate.) It’s all good. Unfortunately, this doesn’t guarantee that people who leave comments here are actually paying attention.

This “anonymous” person is a case in point. As you know, Displaced takes are written for fans of USC Football. Fans who don’t have a particular affinity for the Trojans are certainly welcome, but common sense tells us that they may not appreciate everything posted here. In other words, if you don’t like my stuff … tough cookies.

I tried to explain this to “anonymous” but my words appear to have fallen on deaf ears (or a Domer Mind). First, this “anonymous” person tells me to “Cut the venom.” Then after I merely pointed out the latest stupid stuff coming out of Charlie Crewcut’s mouth last week, I get this:

I understand you hate the Irish, but accusations of Notre Dame being "holier-than-thou" look a little ridiculous considering what is written on this site.

Charlie and Pete have different personalities. Get over it.

When I first read this I laughed because I know for a fact that there is no way I am holier than almost anybody, let alone someone named “anonymous.” Of course, I responded in kind:

anonymous,

I wish you'd give yourself a name ...

Anyway, I thought it was clear that I have much respect for the "Irish" and that we're just having fun here pointing out stupid stuff.

If anyone wants to point out stupid stuff about USC I wouldn't hold it against them. More than likely, if it smacks of some ironic truth, I will laugh along with them.

Of course Pete and Charlie are different. That's the point, but there's nothing to get over. Again, we're just having fun here.

Lastly, are you saying that my posts smack of a "holier-than-thou" attitude? Hmmm. Have you ever heard of a Trojan fan that says ... no, thinks ... that USC is "God's team"?

Dude, relax. I certainly don't think I'm holier than thou. LOL.

I put that “LOL” in there because I actually did laugh out loud. Then I asked myself a question:

Why does this “anonymous” person feel compelled to demand that I “cut the venom” and “get over it” and “go to church” … let alone “beg God for mercy!” ... ?

I couldn’t help but laugh again as I realized that I could answer my question with another question:

Isn’t it funny how this “anonymous” person accuses me of being “holier-than-thou” in the midst of a statement that exemplifies someone who believes they are holier than me?

Sure it’s funny. But more than anything it's ironic.
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USC Post-Game: New (Cautious) Optimism

So, a nice 42-0 blowout and a move up the rankings, and we all feel better, right?

Our defense is back to its dominating self (supposedly), after posting its first shutout in two years. Our offense was clicking (apparently), as we scored more than 40 points for the first time since the opener versus Arkansas. And, we didn’t put the ball on the ground (thankfully).

A dominating performance at an opponent's new stadium, and we’re back, right?

The people who are supposed to know these things seem to think so. We are back on Lee Corso’s list of top-five one-loss teams. Sure, you can take that for what it’s worth, but Kirk Herbstreit has USC on his top-five one-loss list, too. SI’s Stewart Mandel also thinks we’re back. In fact, according to him, USC is so back that we now have a shot at beating Cal in two weeks.

It’s amazing what happens after a 42-0 win, isn’t it?

Unfortunately, there’s a fly in this ointment. That dying buzz you hear stuck in the petroleum jelly is the Stanford Jr. “football” team, which isn’t just winless like beginning-of-the-season winless, the way Cal was 0-1 after losing to Tennessee. No, the Color Red is 0-9, three-quarters-of-the-way-through-the-season winless.

Adding insult to this humiliating season, Stanford Jr. has scored more than 10 points in only one of those nine loses, while giving up at least 30 points in eight contests. Even their new stadium is no help – Pete Carroll said playing there was like a home game for the Trojans.

In other words, Stanford Jr. “football” is really, really bad … which means that perhaps USC Football isn’t really, really that good.

Make no mistake. I am a believer. A “W” is a W. And it’s particularly comforting to know that our man Carroll is on the case. But I’ll feel much better when we dominate a team that can actually play Division I football.

Fight On! Beat the Ducks!
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USC Football Game Day: Stanford Seriously

One half-way decent thing about Stanford Jr. University is its band. You say, “What?” But I’m serious. I’m actually disappointed that those jerks have been banned from the field after kickoff. Their antics are entertaining for USC fans, as long as we don’t take the whole thing too seriously … and there’s no reason we should. After all, the Stanford Jr. band doesn’t take itself seriously.

It’s obvious why the Stanford Jr. band behaves the way it does, given the performance of its football team. If you notice, traditionally good football programs have bands and other pomp and circumstance that are built on tradition. This is particularly the case for historical powers including Michigan, Ohio State, Notre Dame, Texas, and of course, USC.

But if a school’s football program has no tradition, which is to say it has a history of losing, what’s the point of having a serious band? Fans of losing teams need more than a traditional band to entertain them, since the football team can’t fit the bill.

More importantly for Stanford Jr. fans, the crazy band helps to maintain their false sense of intellectual superiority. The band’s irreverence and mocking humor says, “Sure our football teams sucks, but it doesn’t matter because we’re smarter than you.”

As we’ve said, people can believe what they want to believe, but this rebellious band idea isn’t new. I found this out, when I took my family to see the Brown-Yale game at the used-to-be-famous Yale Bowl last year. (Typically, USC's 51-21 blowout versus Stanford didn't start until 10:00 pm eastern.)

Of course, the football was crappy, but half time was entertaining. Brown’s band, wearing brown individually decorated blazers, attempted to play some rock n’ roll tunes, while their P.A. guy made some smart-ass jokes about Yale. Sound familiar? Yale’s band, wearing navy blue blazers decorated with various buttons and patches, returned the favor.

Crappy football, irreverent bands. Apparently, Stanford Jr. is just an Ivy League wannabe.

Further evidence of this lack of creative originality is the school’s nickname. Stanford Jr. used to call itself the Indians until 1972, when the school’s Native American student group claimed racial insensitivity.

Stanford Jr. intellectually masturbated over the issue through the ’70s – suggestions included Robber Barons, Sequoias, Trees, Railroaders, Spikes, Huns, and Griffins. Meanwhile, Stanford Jr. answered to the name “Cardinals.”

Then, realizing that its football team was perpetually crappy and looking for a way to excuse itself from this crappiness by calling attention to its academic stature as the “Harvard of the West,” Stanford Jr. decided to follow Harvard’s lead and name itself after a color.

No doubt it’s a nice color, cardinal, but the move was a copycat idea nonetheless. You’d think they could come up with something better, but maybe that's just too much to expect. After all, they don’t take these things seriously. At 0-8 (soon to be 0-9), how could they?
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USC Football Pre-Game: 1 Down, 5 To Go

I just got back from a short business trip to West Virginia of all places. I was there for the day, which was plenty for me. The hills and bridges were beautiful and the people were generally very nice. No jokes about Deliverance or hillbillies here. Still, all the blue and yellow West Virginia sweatshirts were a little much for me.

I watched the WVU-Louisville game at a hotel sports bar after flying in early Thursday evening. The place was filled with West Virginia fans (all clad in those sweatshirts) eating a lot of meat and fried stuff.

They seemed to be pretty knowledgeable about college football, although none of them could explain why their supposed Heisman Trophy candidate Steve Slaton spent nearly all of the third quarter on the sideline. He was apparently “suffering” from “weakness” in his left arm. From what I could tell, he was actually allowing his team to suffer from his own psychological weakness, after fumbling twice on consecutive plays. Talk about shrinking on a big stage.

Anyway, I’m not complaining because USC fans are happy with the outcome. Now that West Virginia has been exposed, we’ll be hoping that Louisville loses to New Jersey State, which would keep alive our slim chances for a shot at the national title.

If not, we may be looking at Louisville in the national championship game, and that just doesn’t sound right.
east coast bias

6-1: The Long and the Short of It

We can never say that a loss is ever a good thing, especially when that loss happens at Oregon State … Oregon State. But perhaps USC Football needed a wake up call.

Certainly, for the 2006 USC Trojans, last Saturday’s result was devastating. Our national championship prospects this season are now very slim. But what happened in Corvallis could be beneficial to the long term health of the Trojans as a program.

Reading the transcript of Pete Carroll’s stream of consciousness from this week’s pre-game press conference, we get the sense that he feels the same:

If we play well, the outcome will be fine. We have proven that, so I'm not worried about who we are playing or what the situation is. We need to perform well, and if we do that, we will win. We know that. […] I think as a competitor, I don't want to lower our standards and expectations. […] We are going to continue to expect to play great and do things right, see our players make great decisions and play with the intensity and other things that we built this program on. We are so close. We looked at the highlights of Saturday's game and we measured our effort as we do every week, our consistency was very good. It was just that the ball hit the ground a couple of times and we didn't come up with it. […] We gave them enough opportunities to beat us.

It's really clear in the three games that we have lost over the past few years. They are almost all the same. We couldn't get out of our own way when we needed to. There have been a lot of times when we struggled and had issues, but then we worked out of it and took over a game. We just started too late on Saturday […] We did it with two minutes left in the third quarter and that's just not enough time. This is life in sports, this is how it is. Stuff happens and you have to deal with it. […] This is an exciting challenge. We were faced with this challenge a few years ago and we went through a couple of years without it happening. Whether or not we can do it again, who knows? That's what we are shooting for and it starts with winning this game on Saturday and performing well. […] It's about today and I'm feeling good about our chances to do this.

We are a very young football team and there are a lot of lessons to be learned as well as taught. I'm really tuned into the fact that I have to do a really good job communicating with the kids because this is building for the future. This is a dramatic occurrence for us to grow from and I'm trying to be right on it. […] There's no question we will be better [next year] just because of the experience of it. There will be so many players coming back next year and new players emerging that are tapping into roles that will grow. I'm really excited about the future of our club. There are so many guys in key positions and such depth that with the new guys coming in next year, this is going to be a very deep football team. We will still be young, but with some experience. The future looks very bright.

In other words, as some self-help philosopher once said, “Saturday is the first game of the rest of our football program” or something like that. It’s time to let go of the loss to Oregon State … Oregon State … and move on. There is so much more to enjoy this season and those to come. It all starts Saturday.

Of course, today is Thursday …

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Post-Halloween: The Dark Side

I saw a fair number of Jedi Knights and Darth Vaders collecting candy at my front door last night, which got me to thinking …

Charlie Weis has got to be a Star Wars fan. No, not because he looks like Jabba the Hut. That would be too obvious. It’s because, as all Trojan Jedi know, Weis has joined the Dark Side of the Force. We and the rest of college football should beware.

You think this is silly? Sure it is… but maybe not so much.

After calling out Weis a few times for saying stupid stuff, it appears that perhaps he’s not that stupid. Yes, we respect him for being an intelligent offensive coach, but maybe he’s saying stupid stuff on purpose, to make us think he’s stupid, while he pieces together his plan to take over the galaxy … I mean, the BCS … while we stand here laughing with our fingers pointing at his fat tummy.

You think this is paranoia? Certainly it is… but maybe not so much. As Yoda has warned us: “Beware of the Dark Side.”

To be sure, Trojan Jedi aren’t the only ones who recognize the subversive, Palpatine-like behavior of the “Irish” head coach. Greg Couch of the Chicago Sun-Times has a sense of what Weis is really up to in South Bend.

Life as Notre Dame's football coach is a week-to-week existence. You are a hero, you are a god. And then you are pounded by Michigan, and you are doubted. […]

That much I know. And then there are things I suspect: Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis has said recently that NFL teams have called to see if he'd consider leaving South Bend and that the Irish aren't being treated fairly in the polls. Maybe those are simple statements, disconnected. But they are suspicious.

Is Weis playing a power game with Notre Dame? […] Maybe Weis, who mixes thin skin and thick ego, agreed with all the savior talk but doesn't want to put up with the other stuff Irish coaches face. […]

Last week, NFL.com reported that ''at least two owners'' had contacted Weis during Notre Dame's off week to see if he could be pulled away. Weis confirmed it but said, ''I'm not going anywhere.''

Hmm. Two owners? How did the reporter find that out? Did two owners just happen to leak that in the same week? Possibly. Incredible coincidences happen. […] But it would seem more likely that Weis, whose autobiography was ghost-written by another NFL.com writer, planted that story. […]

Planted it, confirmed it, then reconfirmed his love of Notre Dame.

''Everyone knows I'm staying here until they fire me or I die,'' he said last week at his regular news conference. […]

His pledge of allegiance to Notre Dame was the same as a guy telling his wife that women at work keep asking him out, but ''Don't worry, honey, I married you for life, and I'm not going anywhere.'' Would a wife feel comforted by that? And why would the guy say it in the first place?

They still love Weis at Notre Dame, now that time has passed since the Michigan game. But it turns out the love isn't based solely on his magnetic personality. Also, other coaches can match his genius. UCLA has less talent than Notre Dame but almost won anyway. It took a miraculous comeback for the Irish to beat Michigan State, a terrible team with a terrible coach. […]

Weis is pumping poll voters to help ensure the Irish a BCS bid. […] That's what Weis needs.

But maybe this season isn't as smooth as it appears. If the Irish beat USC, then Weis will be king. But if they lose the way they did to Michigan?

As Weis said, no matter how many times he tells NFL teams he's staying, darned if they don't keep calling.

''Sometimes they just don't get it,'' he said. ''But I keep on giving the same answer.''

Hmm.

Hmm, indeed. We like to criticize Weis, but putting Karl Dorrell and John L. Smith in the same solar system with the “Irish” head coach? That's just wrong. But, I digress …

Couch may not be a Star Wars nerd, but it’s clear he’s got Weis pegged as a subversive conspirator who feigns loyalty to gain personal power. This is exactly how a Star Wars nerd would describe a Sith Lord. I know, because I am a Star Wars nerd.

Again, as Yoda has warned us: “Never underestimate the power of the Dark Side.”

You think this is silly? Of course it is … but maybe not so much.
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