USC Bye Week: Beware the Nice Weis

Let’s get back to this east coast bias thing. Last week the collective Domer Mind – a close cousin of the east coast bias – reared its ugly head (with a crewcut, no less) on WFAN-Radio’s “Mike and the Mad Dog” in New York.

During his bye week “Irish” head coach Charlie Weis was in town to plug his new book and pump up the “subway alumni” – you know, those east coast idiots who pretend that South Bend is somewhere in the tri-state area because there is no real Division I football anywhere near Manhattan.

If you don’t know these radio guys, “Mike” is Mike Francesa (right), a New York native who knows everything there is to know about sports, business and the entertainment industry in its entirety. Just ask him, he’ll tell you himself. The “Mad Dog” is Chris Russo (left), another true New Yorker who plays the not-so-smart-guy role to Francesa’s primadonna, ensuring that fans who call in don’t feel too stupid when Francesa tells them they’re stupid.

When I moved east and started listening to the FAN, Mike and the Mad Dog sounded strange to me. At first I thought it was some sort of cultural thing that I didn’t understand. But after a while, I realized that Francesa actually does think he’s smarter than Russo and anyone else who calls into the show. ESPNradio realized this too, and used this daily disrespect of callers against the FAN in ESPN's advertising. But, I digress …

Needless to say, Mike and the Mad Dog are quintessential east coast biased idiots, so it was no surprise to hear Charlie Crewcut on their show* to plug his new book, “No Excuses.” I really had no interest in hearing this segment, but as we’ve said, we must know thy enemy. So, I forced myself to listen to three of them.

Sure enough Francesa took what seemed like several minutes to show anyone who was listening how smart he is before actually asking Weis a question. As usual, Russo played along.

Weis started out kissing up to New York listeners by professing his love of the Yankees. Then covering his bases, he said he also roots for the Mets because he’s a Willie Randolph fan. Fair enough, I suppose. The guy grew up in Jersey after all.

Not to be outdone, Francesa and Russo actively fed the Domer hype machine, smooching Weis’s ample rear end to get the coach going … to get him talking, that is.

Weis spoke on cue about his career in the NFL, before discussing last year’s USC-ND game. He said he too would have asked any one of his players to execute the “Bush Push.” He praised Matt Leinart for calling the audible on fourth and nine. And he gave Pete Carroll a sideways compliment, calling the QB sneak a “brassy play.”

Said Weis: “I’ll forever be remembered as the losing coach in an epic game. … It was a heck of a game. … Unfortunately, they made one more play than we did.” All stuff we’ve heard before.

Weis goes on to talk about last season’s Fiesta Bowl and ND’s loss to Michigan this year, before making some careful comments about last Saturday’s games. He also made one last plug for his book.

Really, it was all fairly innocuous, which brings us to the most disturbing aspect of the segment: Listening to Weis, people who aren’t part of the east coast biased collective Domer Mind - that is, sane people like us - might end up actually liking him. Of this we must beware.

Certainly, Weis presents himself as a humble nice guy, and he plays this PR game very well. More than anything he is plain smart, and he deserves our respect.

But, most importantly, Weis is the leader of the “Irish” Bizarro World, which means we have no choice but to maintain a healthly, respectful hate for him and the football team he coaches.

As for Mike and the Mad Dog, the east coast bias sleeps soundly, knowing these two New Yorkers are on the case.

* There is no link directly to this stream. Look for the "Oct 13 ..." link in the list of segments on the WFAN page. Depending on when you ready this, you may have to scroll down and/or click to a connecting page. Real Player is required.

USC Bye Week: Thursday Twirl

I don’t know if I can do this Thursday Twirl thing. Really, I was only half-serious last week. After all, USC Football is 6-0 and ranked No. 2 in the BCS. Even during a buy week, there is too much going on to waste this corner of the blogosphere posting random photos of Song Girls, right?

A few Trojans have suggested that posting Song Girl photos along with Beano Cook’s name might lure the old man here, so we could properly educate him about USC Football. That would be okay, I guess. But it’s not like reading any Displaced posts will undo 80 years of being an idiot. Besides, Beano (left) would only be coming here for the pictures anyway, right?

He wouldn’t bother to read our take on David Leon Moore’s piece in yesterday’s USA Today, which provides a strong dose of reality to address all the messed up perceptions about the Trojans. Of course, Leon Moore doesn’t point out much that USC blogs and beat writers haven’t already addressed, but it’s nice to know that at least a few keepers of the east coast bias – you know, the ones like Beano who fall asleep before 11:00 pm ET – will read and learn from Leon Moore’s piece.

Certainly, Beano wouldn’t see our reference to a nice article in the Daily Trojan written by Zain Shauk, a kid one-fifth Beano’s age (given that college kids are about 20 or so) and five times as smart. We know Shauk is bright, because he points out an aspect of John David Booty’s game that we’ve all noticed, but that no one has bothered to fully examine and write about. We’ll let the kid show his skills …

Is it just me, or are a lot of John David Booty's passes being batted at the line of scrimmage?

Yes, you know you've noticed it too: those crowd-deflating plays that seem to leave everyone in the stands emotionless and confused.

It happened on the second play of Saturday's win over Arizona State, when Booty snapped the ball, then took three quick steps back before firing it off the arm of a defensive tackle.

You quietly turned to the person next to you, then shrugged and turned back to the silence on the field.

It happened later in the game too, when a ball glanced off the arm of ASU defensive end Dexter Davis and into the hands of cornerback Keno Walter-White, who scampered up the sideline for a frustrating touchdown.

You weren't as emotionless after that play.

Shauk goes on to illustrate how and why Booty’s passes seem to be batted down more than those of USC’s two previous quarterbacks. The kid does this through analysis and quotes from Trojan QB coach Steve Sarkisian and Seattle Seahawks QB coach Jim Zorn, as well as Booty himself. These sources break down the ins and outs of the issue, including the distance and quickness of Booty’s three-step drop, his height and release point, and his ability to find throwing lanes.

As a Daily Trojan veteran and a graduate of the USC School of Journalism (now part of the Annenberg Center for Communications), it makes me proud to see such fine work from young Shauk. This is an excellent little piece of journalism that could teach old man Beano a thing or two.

Lastly, it is possible that Beano would catch on his own yesterday’s Myrtle Beach Sun News, which had a column written by Steve Moore describing a blog that answers an amusing question, “If your favorite college football team were a superhero, which superhero would it be?” Moore wrote:

"The Church of Albert," a sports blog devoted to "analysis, commentary and humor on Florida Gators football and basketball," has some fun with the idea. The blog casts Michigan as Wolverine (obvious), Notre Dame as Superman (peaked in the 20th century) and Miami as Luke Cage (a thug who can wring some necks).

As for USC and UCLA, would you believe ... the Incredible Hulk and She Hulk?

The blog explains: "The Incredible Hulk is an unstoppable force of nature that you do not want to get angry. He sometimes turns into a meek little man that gets pushed around for a little while, but eventually the Hulk bursts out and separates arms from shoulders.

"USC often puts forward meek-scientist-type efforts for three quarters, followed by a city-destroying fourth quarter that puts opponents away."

Riffing on UCLA, the blog continues: "Lots of Superheroes have a female version of themselves that no one takes seriously. She Hulk fills that role for the Hulk, and since USC is the Hulk ..."

This is kind of funny in a nerdy way. But what’s not funny, and certainly not nerdy, is that Moore provides no hyperlink to the blog he describes. Even worse, a Google search on “church of albert” and a click on churchofalbert.blogspot.com reveals no such post.

I checked five times, clicking all over Albert's blog … nothing.* I know Moore doesn’t work for the New York Times, but perhaps he should read a post that can be found on Albert’s blog titled “It’s called Fact-Checking.”

Of course, without visiting us Beano would be completely lost, lacking the benefit of the warning we provided here. Perhaps without our help, he would lose his faith in these internets and never come back. Hmmm …

But, I digress …

* If Albert's site has changed since I published this post, or if you can find the super heroes, please let me know, and I’ll apologize to Mr. Moore. Until then, he’s an idiot.
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USC Bye Week: The Domer Hype Machine

We’ve always known the Domers live in their own reality. Like a clichéd movie trailer that starts out “In a world …” the ND Nation has created an alternate universe inside their own minds. Sort of like a Seinfeld Bizarro World.

If you don’t believe me, spend a few minutes with a Domer alum, or even an east coast “subway alumus” who’s never been to South Bend. Trust me, you’ll get an ear full of it.

They’ll tell you how the school is actually an Ivy League institution stuck in the midwest. You’ll hear that the football program has never compromised ethics or academic standards to get athletic talent on the field. They’ll rationalize ND priests asking God for an ND win, while cheering for “Irish” players with names like Raghib Ismail to do their Lord’s work.

In fact, if you talk to them long enough they’ll let it all out: “Notre Dame is God’s Team. That’s why they win so much.” Being from USC – an institution that understands the freedom of a non-denominational education – we find this kind of thinking limited, if not repressive.

However, this stuff has served the Domers well over the years. They have a national base of followers who share their belief in ND football. And, perhaps more to the hypocritical point, the Domers make it a priority to field a premier football team, which earns their institution millions of dollars from NBC and a special spot in the BCS.

For sure, this collective “Domer Mind” works well for their believers, allowing ND faithful to take liberties with the truth in order to motivate their masses and perpetuate the “reality” of their Bizarro World.

An example of Bizarro logic in action is a piece on ugla written by one Steve Wozniak, who unlike the Apple Computer co-founder of the same name, takes it upon himself to fuel the Domer hype machine as a Staff Writer for the South Bend Tribune. Wozniak wrote:

Chuck D of Public Enemy may have said it best: Don't believe the hype.

Or at least the hype surrounding this year's UCLA defense. When the Bruins march into South Bend this weekend for their matchup with Notre Dame, there will be much hullabaloo about how UCLA has rebuilt itself into a Pac-10 power by playing defense …

What? Yes, it’s Bizarro enough for a guy named Wozniak to be referencing Chuck D … but since when is ugla a defensive Pac-10 power? Not even bruins nation could come up with that.

Well, that's the hype. And now for the reason not to believe much of it: UCLA's schedule.

The Bruins registered four impressive victories this year over Rice, Utah, Stanford and Arizona. Not exactly a murderers row. Rice ranks 92nd in the country in offense, Utah 80th, Stanford 115th and Arizona 111th. If West Virginia's perfect record is tainted by its lackluster competition, so too must be the accolades being bestowed on UCLA's defense.

UCLA has faced two decent offenses, losing to 59th-ranked Washington, 29-19, and last Saturday to Oregon, the seventh best offense in the nation, by another 10-point margin, 30-20.

So is the defense really that good, or is it just a case of stat-padding against inferior foes? That will become clearer when the Bruins run into Notre Dame's offense, which is still ranked only 34th now, but has been clicking more and more since the embarrassment that was the Michigan game.

Again … what? Maybe Wozniak is just a bad journalist (obviously), but the thought process here is astounding. He creates "hullabaloo" where there is none, only to reassure ND Nation that they shouldn’t believe the hype … which he made up in the first place.

As we’ve observed, the mind is a powerful thing. But, the collective Domer Mind is flat out scary.
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USC Bye Week: Bruins in Need

Heading into our mid-season bye, this should be a fun and interesting week for USC Football. We are 6-0 and No. 2 in the season’s first BCS ranking. (Again, let’s breathe and let go of the angst for a week.) Even better, our two primary rivals play each other in South Bend, which allows us to kill two birds with one stone as we size them up.

Taking a look across town, we see the wagons are circling in Westwood … or maybe those are buzzards. Either way, poor Karl Dorrell is like a dead man walking according bruin nation. It is very sad …

Trust me. I’m not getting soft or complacent after seven straight wins versus ugla. (Remember, as much as we’d like to forget, we need one more W to even up the snowman ugla put on us from ’91 to ’98.) USC must keep its proverbial foot firmly on the bruin jugular, with force.

But the thing is we might enjoy the dominance more if there was some sign of life, maybe just a twitch, to let us know they still feel the pain. Right now it seems like baby blue is all numb and dumb.

A bruin nation “guest blogger” calling himself Bruin Blue wrote a 2,000-word essay – sort of like a Jerry Maguire manifesto – about ugla’s state of affairs. If you have a minute to waste, it’s amusing to read. There isn’t much in it that we don’t already know: Dorrell is not a great coach, ugla A.D. Dan Guerrero (right) is content with mediocrity, and bruin nation has no real commitment to football.

But the bruin diatribe does confirm that while ugla may be able to identify its problems, it has absolutely no clue how to fix them. bruin nation will have to be extremely lucky in order to even sniff the heights USC Football has achieved and seems poised to sustain. I mean extremely lucky … like winning the PowerBall lottery lucky. We know this because Mike Garrett actually won the lottery for us nearly six years ago.

ugla is so pathetically inept I couldn’t help but give them some condescending advice with a comment on Bruin Blue’s post*:

Almost there ...

As a slightly more than casual observer of UCLA football from a different perspective, I must commend Bruin Blue for a very nice piece. Seriously.

It's all about commitment and priorities, and it is obvious even to outsiders that having a "nice" football program is the extent of the priority for UCLA. Bruin Blue captures that aspect of the program very well.

However, in describing "the second part of the equation," this post only proves further a key element of the first part. Bruin Nation, let alone Dan Guerrero, wouldn't know a top-flight coach if one was standing in front of you ... unless he was wearing cardinal and gold on the opposite sideline.

Make no mistake, knowledgeable USC fans realize and readily admit that hiring Pete Carroll was pure Mike Garrett luck. But, look at a couple of programs that have attempted to imitate the Carroll model, and you'll see at least two schools that are doing better than the Bruins. Try Wannstedt/Pitt and Callahan/Nebraska.

Forget about hot college assistants. Those are too iffy. For every Stoops, Tedford and Meyer, there's Zook, Koetter and Chuck Long.

Forget about Tom O'Brien, for crissakes! Listen to yourself say "competed with the best, and come off very well ..." Sounds like Terry Donahue to me.

Butch Davis a "better person" than Carroll? Get real.

If you want a guy who won't be out-coached by someone like Pete Carroll or Charlie Weis, you gotta go where they learned to coach. You gotta go where recruits have automatic respect for someone who can get them to the next level. You gotta go to the League.

So, who fits this bill? Who won't be intimidated in the film room and on the recruiting trail by anyone? Who's available after being the scapegoat for a completely messed up situation in the NFL?

Steve Mariucci. Tell Guerrero to give him a call. You can probably get him for $1.5 million, plus incentives. Seriously, it would be the best choice the Bruins could make, if you could make that kind of commitment. Unfortunately for Bruin Nation, that's a big IF.

Of course, we know the “if” is not an “if,” but more like a “no way.” Again, the odds of winning the lottery are so very minute, and Guerrero isn’t even willing to buy a ticket. Simply put, lightning doesn’t strike twice.

Other than telling the “gutty little bruins” to stand in the middle of an open field holding a 1-iron in the air during the next thunderstorm, I can’t think of anything else to tell them.

Fight On!

* I know it’s at least a little obnoxious to quote myself on my own blog, but what the hell. It’s a bye week.
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USC Post-Game II: The One True Idiot

My gosh! I was wrong. My apologies to Dirk Koetter and Tommy Tuberville. After a full Saturday of college football, I thought these guys were the idiots of the day. But, upon further review, by way of The Wiz, I must recant.

In fact, the biggest idiot of the day was Lamar Thomas, the former Hurricane turned broadcast analyst. Thomas, who worked (at least until yesterday) the tape-delayed broadcasts of Miami games for Comcast Sports Southeast, was apparently doing Saturday’s game live, with play-by-play partner Jason Solodkin. As is always the case in these situations, I’ll let Thomas speak for himself:



If you didn’t catch all that, here are the lowlights:

Now that’s what I’m talking about. You come into our house, you should get your behind kicked. You don’t come into the bowl O.B. [Orange Bowl] playin’ that stuff. You across the ocean over there. You across the city. You can’t come over to our place talking noise like that. You get your butt kicked. I was ‘bout to go down the elevator and get in that thang.

You know, I say why don’t they just meet outside in the tunnel, after the ball game, and get it on some more. You don’t come into the O.B., baby. We’ve had a down couple a years, but you don’t come in here talkin’ trash. Not at our house!

Of course, Solodkin was also an idiot, trying to play it straight, while Thomas ranted. He didn’t even acknowledge or try to temper Thomas’s outrageous comments. But then again, as a white guy who never played the game, he was probably frightened by Thomas. That’s how idiots think, right?

Obviously, Thomas is a proud Hurricane, having been part of two national championship teams in ’89 and ’91. Perhaps he’s less proud of his Federal indictment for being part of the financial aid scandal at Miami during Dennis Erickson’s shameful tenure as head coach. And, maybe he is embarrassed by his documented history of violence, having been arrested for three counts of battery, including two against his fiancé in 1997.

Maybe Solodkin was right to be afraid of Thomas. But, he’s still an idiot.

Thomas on Saturday night disgraced and insulted anyone who cares about college football. But, my guess is that he is so incredibly stupid he sees nothing wrong with what he said. And I’m guessing he lives by a set of rules and a code of honor that he would say I can’t fully understand. Fair enough. But, Thomas is still an idiot.

Yes, Tuberville and Koetter are idiots within the scope of sarcastic football commentary, but let's keep our perspective here. It goes without saying that these guys are no where near the shameful and dishonorable idiot jerks representing the University of Miami on the field and in the booth Saturday night. Let’s hope we never see or hear that kind of crap again.

Fight On!
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USC Football Post-Game: Idiots Galore

Man, that Tommy Tuberville really wants to prove his point. First, as the No. 2 team in the country last week, he has his War Damn Eagle lose to Arkansas at home. Then yesterday he knocks off SEC counterpart Florida, which replaced Auburn at No. 2. All this just to prove himself right, after predicting that no SEC team will earn a spot in the BCS championship game. Incredible!

No doubt about it. You have to be a very good coach to pull this off. Of course, you also have to be an idiot.

Now, what does all this say about Urban Meyer? The view here is that he is not an idiot, yet. Meyer (left) is just a good coach in his second season installing an offensive system using some other idiot’s players. He’ll be a full-fledged idiot if/when at some point next season, people in the SEC figure out that Tim Tebow can’t throw a football.

As for an entire team that proved itself to be idiots this season, look no further than the once proud and mighty Miami Hurricanes, who looked like that other SC last night. It’s one thing for emotions to run high in a rivalry game against Florida or Florida State, but to let emotions and actions get completely out of control in a blowout over a Florida International team led by Don Strock is simply embarrassing, sickening and absolutely disrespectful to the game we all love. Add swinging helmets and stomping on the backs of players’ legs, and it becomes literally criminal.

Funny how all this crap happens in the south, where football is supposed to mean so much. But, I digress …

Another idiot on Saturday was Arizona State’s head coach Dirk Koetter. Sure, he led the Sun Devils to a nice comeback after falling behind 21-0 to USC at the Coliseum last night. But when it came time to actually attempt to win or tie the game, Koetter showed his lack of brain cells.

After USC’s old school, smash-mouth 74-yard drive to take the 28-21 lead, Koetter’s crew had a little less than four and a half minutes left to answer. But it didn’t look like they even understood the question.

After penalizing themselves into a third and 24 from their own 21, the Sun Devils completed a two-yard pass. Then, with about 1:30 left in the game … they punted.

Koetter explains: "I felt we were better off to try to advance the ball 50 yards and try to come up with a turnover. The odds of converting on fourth and 30 are tough."

Perhaps he’s right. Comparing slim and none leaves no chance. But maybe those odds on fourth and long would’ve been better if the third down play gained more than two yards. And, just maybe ASU wouldn’t have been in that situation in the first place if the quarterback who Koetter chose … I mean, the QB he didn’t choose was more psychologically stable.

As for Carroll’s take on the win over ASU, we already called it earlier in the week. It’s like that line from Albert Brooks in the movie Broadcast News: “I say it here, it comes out there."

Said Carroll after the game: “Just win, baby. ”

I think we just need to keep getting better. … This is a different year, and this is a different team. I think we're fortunate to be 6-0. It's really hard to win. How many teams have won all their games? We're really, really young. I'm thrilled we're 6-0 and we feel okay about ourselves.

While Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times may overreact in an attempt to make us flinch, we should feel okay about USC Football, too. Halfway through this season, heading into a bye, we’re 6-0 and have a legitimate shot at another national championship.

Remember, our man Carroll is in this for the long haul, and we’re there with him.
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USC Football Game Day: Galen Center Opening

As a true and authentic USC Trojan, I don’t know a lick about basketball. I have attended a few games at the Sports Arena, and I followed the b-ball team in 1992 when we got a No. 2 seed in the tournament and lost to Georgia Tech on a miracle shot in the second round. (Whatever happened to Harold Miner, aka Baby Jordan, anyway?) But, I really don’t care much about Trojan hoops.

Admittedly, I’m probably a fair-weather basketball fan, because I did attend the 2001 Eastern Regional Finals in Philadelphia when we played Duke. The Blue Devils eventually won the Tournament that year with Jason (Jay) Williams, Shane Battier, Carlos Boozer, et al. My father-in-law declined to join me, so I drove down myself without a ticket and scalped a single (for face value 45 minutes before tip off) from some nerd in a Princeton sweatshirt.

The seat was great, about midway between center court and the baseline above the luxury boxes … smack dab in the middle of some 50-something, blue-blooded Blue Devils. Dressed like respectable southerners in blue polo shirts and loafers (wives done up and wearing pearls) these people took themselves and their basketball very seriously. They were polite and nice enough, but these Dukies were cold as ice with me, even when their team had the game well in hand.

My least favorite part of the experience was hearing the liberal use of the word “boy” in reference to the African-American players. All night I heard it from the Duke fans, with a drawl. After a Boozer turnover: “That boy better shape up. Come on, boy!” After Williams hit a three: “Man, that boy can shoot!” When Mike Dunleavy (a white kid) drove the lane: “Man, he knows how to play, don’t he?”

They seemed like proper people, but I got the impression these Dukies were talking at their players more than rooting for them. Maybe it was my own regional bias, having grown up in the West and living in the Northeast, but I got the feeling these people were using “boy” only to replace a more derogatory term.

But, I digress …

After what has been apparently more than a century in the making, USC’s Galen Center opened Thursday night. Again, being a real USC Football fan I’m ignorant about these issues, but this is supposedly a big deal. Our b-ball coach – some fat guy by the name of Rick Ma… what? Oh, okay … some guy named Tim Floyd – has been quoted as saying this Galen Center is so awesome it could win us a national championship. I’m not sure how that works, but it sounds good to me.

Mr. Floyd must know what he’s talking about, because the Galen Center has ugla circling in a typical defensive attack. Having been cornered into another “Dump Dorrell” movement, the baby blue is switching sports not even half way through this football season. I don’t really understand all the “cager” talk from Westwood, but if this new building puts ugla’s panties in a bunch, I’m all for it.

Then again, just how powerful is this new campus jewel if our No. 4-ranked women’s volleyball team lost to Stanford on the building’s opening night? Perhaps the Galen Center only works for basketball? Maybe there is more to winning a national championship in basketball than just building a new $100 million arena. But, who am I to question Mr. Floyd?

In any case, the Galen Center does look beautiful, and it will add much to the USC experience of students and alumni, as well as the stature of the campus. It certainly is a proud moment for our alma mater, and Mike Garrett in particular.

But, in fact, the most important benefit of the Galen Center is its abundance of new facilities for USC men’s and women’s volleyball and basketball. Their new offices, locker rooms and workout equipment at the Galen Center means there will be much more room for the USC Football program at Heritage Hall.

Now, that’s something to celebrate!

Beat the Sun Devils!
east coast bias